GraceWatch

Mudpuppy tells a joke

2012-02-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

This struck me as a milestone today.

So Mudpup (Alleluia Boy, whatever) is standing in front of everyone seated in the living room. With a big smile, he sings, "Rain, rain, go away, [Mudpup], go away!" People smiled back, and he continued "Rain rain, go away, Ju Ju, go away!" Everyone really cracked up then (although Jaybird had mixed feelings about it). So he continued, "Rain rain, go away, Ben Ben, go away!"

Yes, it's two year old humor.

He's also repeating (the memorized) Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? book, verbatim, about 90% of the way through. He's enjoying that, do the reading "himself".

Adoption news

2012-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

...this was a post from last week on the Adopting Alex blog.

When the going gets tough, the tough start praying!

Well, everyone, we received some frustrating news. The adoption authority in Alex's home country has told us the dossier may be submitted March 29th. That's over six weeks later than we expected! And with extended approval time, and waiting for a travel date time, that puts traveling to meet Alex and adopt him well into ... May.

All together: AUGGGGHHHHH!
And as our kids reacted, sputtering: "That's not fair!" (We have expected early March all along.) Yes, kids, you get that point better than those fun-loving bureaucrats. We realize adopting is a privilege and not a right. But when literally everything is done, approved, translated, and collecting dust in a tray, waiting three months to travel is a bitter pill to swallow.

This far-out dossier date was unexpected on everyone's part. Because the adoption authority just reorganized, they instituted some new rules around ceasing to fast-track many special needs adoptions. We're getting caught in that delay through no fault of ours, no fault of our facilitators, and certainly no fault of Alex's. Remember--the government doesn't even formally know we hope to adopt him, due to the way they handle international adoptions. They just know we want to adopt a child his age with his special need.

Alex's country being what it is, this could "change back" to a fast-tracking process. That is our best hope for getting the date moved up. Honestly, we're ready to go. Alex is no doubt ready to have a better life: a family that loves him, therapy for his CP, an opportunity to learn. And he needs out of the institution--he's not hanging out at the Club Med. This date is just one more hurdle.

After a difficult few hours, we realized there is really nothing we can do to change this situation but pray. The situation feels like we need prayer and fasting (Mt 17:21). Jerry is fasting from sweets. I am going to be fasting from Diet Coke for nine days (those of you who know me know I'm dead serious now, because I'm completely addicted). If you feel led to fast for smooth and quick sailing for Alex's adoption, please do. You can tell us, or not, but we do appreciate it regardless.

Also, we are encouraging people to do nine days of prayer with us (our Catholic friends know this is called a novena, nothing "magical" about it, just a set period of intense intentional prayer). We're going to be praying a short prayer for the intercession of St. Joseph, who, as the foster father of Jesus, has a special love for those in need of fathers. You should feel free to pray for Alex's quick and smooth adoption process as you wish--if you pray in another fashion you prefer, please add Alex to your prayers for nine days with us all. But if you want to join us:

St. Joseph, foster-father and protector of Jesus Christ! To you do I raise my heart and hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for me from the kind Heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I ask particularly for the grace of a happy death, and the special favor I now implore, that Alex is kept safe and well, and that his adoption move forward quickly.

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel animated with confidence that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God.

V. O glorious St. Joseph, through the love you bear to Jesus Christ, and for the glory of His name,
R. Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us, and move quickly this adoption of your small friend, Alex.

Amen.

The novena and fasting will start for us Thursday, February 9th. Please consider joining us in some fashion. We will post reminder updates on the facebook page for Alex (feel free to "like" the page and follow that way). We trust God has our back in this, but Jesus did say "Ask and you shall receive"--which means he wants us to ask for great things! We will accept God's response in any case, but we are compelled to ask for a much sooner travel date, against all bureaucratic desires. By the way, we know: moving out the travel date by three months doesn't seem like too long, but when you are a child who cannot walk living in a mental institution, and when you are prospective parents not knowing how your son is really doing, and when there is no need for it--three months is too long to wait.

Thank you, everyone. We believe Alex will thank you, too.

What we're doing...and reading

2012-01-18T18:49:00.001-08:00

The handful of you who follow this blog regularly may be wondering what gives...why no recent updates? Basically, I've been so incredibly busy with other things -- too busy. At the moment, I am part of a team of three people launching a massive marketing campaign on behalf of the kids' school. Okay, "massive" is a relative term -- but considering we're three people, it seems massive. In Minnesota, the only funding that charter schools receive is per-pupil state aid (regular public schools associated with a school district get to pass local levies). Over the past couple years, the school's enrollment has dropped -- not by a lot, but when each student brings $5,300 in state aid, that adds up quickly. (The reasons are various -- more competition, declining overall student population, plus other factors.) Plus, the state legislature, in its eternal wisdom, has decided to "borrow" (=raid) 25% of school funding for the past few budget cycles. School districts can borrow short-term loans to cover that cost, but charter schools don't have that ability.

That means that this year we've seen lots of cuts, including the loss of fourth grade band, our foreign language program, and half of our classroom assistants. (The latter cut was recently restored.) And teacher salaries, which were low to begin with, have remained frozen for years, which has meant high turnover.

The only factor that we control in this equation is enrollment, so our marketing committee's goal is to achieve full enrollment next year. That would bring in maybe $132,000 in additional funds. Unfortunately, we're starting from absolutely nothing. Parts of our website haven't even been touched since before 2003. Heck, most of our website wasn't even indexed by Google! And we had no brochures or literature to pass out to anyone inquiring about the school, and no publicity campaign (to the local media) whatsoever, no ads, nothing. So over the past few weeks I have been busy, with the help of a couple other people, creating print ads, brochures, internal flyers (to educate our families about the advantages of their school so they can spread the word to friends and neighbors), videos, a new web pages...there's more, but you get the idea.

It is NUTS. Frankly, I don't have time for this, but that's what I said all last year, and no one stepped forward to take it on, and the funding situation just got worse, so here we are. I've told people I'm basically going to be "gone" beginning February 1 to prepare for the adoption.

Speaking of which, we're kind of in a lull in adoption land. Most of the paperwork is off, although those fun-loving bureaucrats like to keep us on our toes by demanding entirely new documents every week or so.

One of the ways we keep our spirits up is to read the adoption blogs being kept by other families who have gone through the adoption process or are going through it now. It is also great preparation, in terms of learning what we might expect. If anyone else wants to follow these to get a bit of a window into our "vicarious" adoption journey, here's what we're reading. I will post these in the sidebar, too.

Bringing Winston Home
This blog is interesting mainly because the couple adopted this past summer from the same city that we're adopting from. In fact, we spent more than an hour talking on the phone with the mom a little while ago, just to figure out what to expect. The blog is no longer updated, but go back to July and you can get a bit of a sense of what it will be like when we go over there. Except that when we go, it won't be July. It will be cold!

Bringing AJ Home
This is the blog of the Putz family, who are adopting AJ -- better known to those who have followed our own adoption journey as "Anthony." They already have an Anthony at home, so they needed to give him a new name! We fund-raised and prayed and prayed for Anthony for many months, so it is heartwarming to read about them finally meeting him, and getting to know him. He has warmed up to his new parents very quickly! Lots of video of them playing with him in the orphanage visiting room. He is an amazing kid who far outshines his severe CP. This is a private blog, but if you want an invitation, e-mail us and we will see whether Leann would be willing to add you. (It is private mostly to avoid spammers.)

Asking with Faith
This is the blog of a remarkable 17-year-old young woman who is VERY passionate about helping kids in need all over the world. She was one of two tireless advocates for Alex, raising money and pleading an praying for an adoptive family. Her own family just adopted a nine-year-old from Bulgaria; scroll back in her blog to November or so to see her story. Joanna is currently preparing to travel to Uganda to work with orphans there -- but she is in need of funding. You can help out by purchasing some of the cool stuff she is selling to raise money (see this post).

Three More Jacobsons
Here's a family that is attempting to adopt three kids! Their process is even more complicated than ours, and there have been lots of ups and downs, but they bring an inspiring faith to the process. Right now they have a great video of the boys practicing for a play -- singing a song, complete with actions, in Russian. Very cute!

The Blessing of Verity
This is the blog by the family that adopted the nine-year-old girl that they've named Katie -- the one who looks like an infant. Two months out from the adoption, they continue to update about her remarkable progress...still fun to pop in on every once in a while.

We're also following more adoption stories on a private Facebook group for families adopting from Alex's home country -- which is just to say that whatever we go through on this journey, others have forged the path already, and are accompanying us, too. (Some of them maybe literally!)

Off to work on more marketing materials!

Adoption news...

2012-01-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

(from our adoption blog)

Up, up, and away....

...goes the dossier! (Hey, that even rhymed.)

Well. Today, after ONE MORE last minute re-do of a notarization (I think we had five total since Friday?), I zipped in the car, decided our state side faciliator had to see the last page before I drove to St Paul, and scanned, called, confirmed--it's OK. Go!

So on this almost weirdly warm day for January in Minnesota (44 and sunny???? what?), I drove to our Secretary of State's office (2.5 hrs) to get all these documents apostilled. They were very pleasant, but it did take 1.5 hours (hmm, lunch may have had something to do with it). Then I doubled checked everything AGAIN (37 documents, people), made sure they were in the right order, in the special folder, in an envelope and--time to rush to the UPS shipper!

20 minutes later, I'm at a UPS store and they CAN send it to the Walls (who are adopting "Easton" from the same country and traveling this weekend) by Wednesday afternoon. I fork over more money, and it is GONE AND OUT OF MY HANDS. I've done all I can do. Now...we wait.

I celebrated with a chocolate milkshake and drove 2.5 hrs home. I think we'll save the champagne for when we receive a travel date. We're still hoping early March. Hang in there, Alex.

Peace, Starling

Advent and Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T20:56:00.000-08:00

"For just as lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be...." --Luke 17:24

A really good Advent sets up a really good Christmas, and we had a really good Advent this year. As we usually do, we set up the Christmas tree with a few strings of blue and purple lights (Advent colors), but nothing else. Actually, Jaybird had fun coloring and cutting out and hanging up Jesse Tree decorations, so for most of Advent our nearly-bare tree was decorated with those. In a nutshell, Jesse Tree symbols summarize salvation history leading up to the birth of Christ -- each symbol represents a different biblical story or episode.

We also lit the Advent wreath most nights; we sang a new verse of "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" every week, until we were able to sing the first four verses reasonably well. Even little Alleluia Boy was singing along in his own way by the end! Of course, we have read the Scripture readings for the day from the lectionary for years, so that was good too -- hearing all those very hopeful, poetically beautiful readings from Isaiah over several weeks leading up to Christmas.

We went to confession as a family, Advent being a penitential season and all.

And on the day before Christmas Eve, the kids and I ran around town donating things. We saw this story in the Winona Daily News about the 600 families who received a free holiday basket from Winona Volunteer Services. Actually, a friend had driven past on the pickup day and then Facebooked about the line that stretched six blocks. Here's a picture from the Daily News:

That was the prompting we needed to head to the grocery store -- each child got to pick an item to donate. Mouse wanted to donate a 15-pound ham! I nixed that only because I wasn't sure whether they would accept perishable food, so she chose two jars of pickles instead. (Turns out the ham would've been okay -- oh well, next time!) Jaybird donated a bag of potatoes. And Bear donated a can of pineapple. We ran all that over to the food shelf, where it was weighed; we also dropped off a check. Then the kids got a five-minute tour of the food shelf. (Or as Mouse corrected: "Actually, we just stood around while you talked to the lady.") We found out that, indeed, nearly 1,000 families in our area rely on the food shelf once a month or more. That's nearly one in five families in this town. And that, frankly, is amazing.

We also donated a whole bunch of stuffed animals to another charity. Then it was off to Pizza Hut for a bit of a reward!

It was a buffet -- and this being Winona, that meant it was absolutely packed. But the kids enjoyed it anyway. The other thing we'd done in the week leading up to Christmas was to go through all their toys (again!) to organize them and to get rid of some of them. It was a lot of work (again), so the pizza out was well-deserved. By me especially. : )

That night we went down to La Crosse to see the Rotary Lights display in their park along the Mississippi River. This year, Alleluia Boy was properly impressed -- he kept looking around, wide-eyed, pointing out the "light, light!" We think he enjoyed it. And it was unseasonably warm and ice-free this year!

Bear's friend came along for the ride -- far left.

Christmas Eve morning, we decorated the tree with "real" lights and "real" Christmas decorations. It's a wonderful tradition...it really feels like a turning point, like we've come out of this period of darkness and penance into this time of light and joy.

The kids watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on DVD in the afternoon -- their one and only Christmas special. I have a special place in my heart for that special, because of Linus's speech on the true meaning of Christmas -- the birth of the Christ child. It was fun to hear the kids all laughing like crazy at Snoopy's antics. Some things are just classic!

Also Christmas Eve afternoon, our next door neighbor came over for a small gift exchange and cookies and milk. I shouldn't say "small," since she is always VERY generous with gift certificates to the local book store and Godfather's Pizza.

Another Christmas tradition for our family is Christmas Eve dinner at the local Catholic Worker house. Dinner was great -- ham, turkey, stuffing, and lots of great sides, including a wonderful squash soup. People were a little subdued, for understandable reasons, but there was still a lot of camaraderie and laughter. Bear and I ate with a new guy who regaled us with wonderful and amazing stories of his 19 years working as a carpenter in the Alaska wilderness.

We eat there every week, of course, so many of the regulars have become good friends. I persuaded them to pose for a picture after dinner:

Then it was homeward to get dressed for "Midnight" Mass -- at 8 p.m. (which is good, 'cause we couldn't do any later!). The girls dressed in their Christmas dresses:

Mass was wonderful -- the high point of Christmas, as usual. Although...

...Christmas morning was pretty nice, too.

This little guy had no idea that it was Christmas, but squealed with delight on
seeing the "horsey" anyway.

There is a story about the little prayer book Mouse is holding. I actually "hid" this gift and a few other small religious items too well -- and ended up spending about an hour and a half searching for them on Christmas Eve night, meaning that I didn't actually get to bed until early Christmas Eve morning!

The kids enjoyed all of their many gifts, as you can see in the video below.

We took time out for a walk in the nearby Trempealeau Wildlife Refuge just to get out of the house and to enjoy the beautiful weather. Everyone was in good spirits.

Here is the video of Christmas morning:

One of the highlights of the season for me was listening to Brother Mann, president of Saint Mary's University, deliver some brief remarks before the SMU Christmas dinner. He offered one of the best reflections on the Christmas season that I have heard in a while. The Scripture quotation at the beginning of this post was part of his remarks. I was really struck at the imagery in this quote, especially in the way he connected it to the incarnation.

The Gospel of John gives us that wonderful image of the Christ child as a light in the darkness, but I also like this image of Christ as a bolt of lightning spanning the sky. It really captures just how radical the Incarnation of God is...because if you really are so crazy as to believe in a God whose love for humanity is so great that he becomes one of us in order to draw us to him, then the Incarnation changes everything, absolutely everything. Like a flash of lightning in the night, it lights up our world and our lives, so that we see them as they truly are...and that is a good thing.

Short note

2011-12-15T08:05:00.000-08:00

Our adoption blog is on private for a little bit...hope it is temporary...if you want an invite and haven't gotten one, email us!

The continuing adventures of Alleluia Boy

2011-12-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

First snow of the season...interesting, but cold!

It helps to have big sisters to pull the sled!

Being a big helper, like his older brother.

While the other kids sled, Alleluia Boy likes just hanging out in the swings.
Not quite the same experience as in summer, is it?

An excellent winter diversion: playing with water in the sink!
Runs up the water bill, but as long as you clear the room and
remove his shirt, it's worth it for half an hour of relatively
peaceful co-existence with the rest of the universe.

Where's baby Jesus? We'll have to wait and see!

This is the smile that may have saved us from making TWO
long trips to get our fingerprints!

And this is toward the END of the trip...what a trooper!

After a hard day, you have to just crash. With your bottom
sticking up, of course. Why is this so comfortable???

Another lost tooth

2011-12-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

A couple nice things that happened today...Mouse lost another tooth today at school, during D.E.A.R. time (Drop Everything And Read). She said she just let it knock around her mouth until reading time was over, because it was so quiet that she'd be embarrassed to say anything. The older kids are old pros at this now, so it was amusing to walk past her bedroom a few minutes ago and see a sign taped to the stairwell banister: "Please come, tooth fairy!!!!!!!!" The tooth fairy has a habit of forgetting. Thanks for the reminder, Mouse!

Earlier in the evening we joined the seminarians at Immaculate Heart of Mary seminary for Mass followed by dinner. The kids were somewhat intimidated by being the only kids in a room full of very serious young men who all chanted the Mass parts. But they really enjoyed the formal meal afterward. We sat at the head table, with the priests who run the seminary; the priests explained the etiquette to them (why they had THREE forks and all that) and asked all sorts of questions and generally enjoyed getting to know the kids. The older kids were all on their best behavior, and did really, really well. Alleluia Boy was himself -- mostly sweet, with a few cranky moments thrown in just for good measure. But he totally stole the show when he started singing the "Alleluia." All priestly heads turned his way! Later, Alleluia Boy went around the table offering the sign of peace, and a bit later after that, he and Jaybird sang "Alleluia" followed by "Bless you!" This prompted much story-telling about his other antics -- like receiving a potato chip in cupped hands, then crossing himself, today at lunch.

The seminarians had taken up a collection to help out with Alex's adoption -- a fairly sizable amount, actually. It totally took me by surprise when this was announced before the meal blessing, leaving me a little choked up. I continue to be amazed by people's generosity around this boy. God is good.

Adoption stories

2011-12-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry that we haven't posted much here lately...it is one of those especially busy times of life, especially with Christmas upon us. Besides my other work and volunteer responsibilities, I'm also trying to learn rudimentary Russian (and am extra motivated by the experience and comments of April Jacobson) and otherwise prepare for the adoption. As we move closer to the adoption date (we just got our $800 USCIS fingerprints done in St. Paul -- see our adoption blog for details), I find myself increasingly immersed in others' adoption stories, probably as a way to prepare myself, both emotionally and practically. I've been particularly interested in Asking with Faith, which is a blog kept by the amazing Canadian teen who did so much to advocate for Alex. Their family just brought a nine-year-old girl home from Bulgaria -- and while it has been joyful, lately it has also been pretty rough. As she points out, it's pretty typical for adopted kids (especially ones who are more cognitively typical) to go through a grieving period that includes lots of rage and anger and defiance. Thank goodness their family knows how to ride it out. They are in our prayers. I read their story knowing that we could be going through the same process in a few months.

It has also been fun to follow the Jacobson's adoption blog, since they are adopting from the same country as Alex, and April Jacobson keeps a fairly detailed account of their process.

And then there's the story of Katie, the nine-year-old girl who weighed just eleven pounds when she was adopted by the Musser family about a month ago. It's amazing to see how she has gone, in just a few weeks, from this...

...to this:

Wow. This family got a lot of flack and resistance from people concerned about them adopting a severely handicapped kid, but they did it anyway -- eyes wide open to the difficulties and necessary sacrifices, but also seeing beyond that to the ultimate reality of Love with a capital "L."

This is the sort of thing I was talking about when I named this blog "Gracewatch." There it is.

More at their blog, The Blessing of Verity.

Advent conspiracy

2011-12-06T18:46:00.001-08:00

Love this video:

Counting boy!

2011-12-05T20:04:00.001-08:00

Alleluia Boy is now counting with us. If he hears someone counting (or if we get him started), he completes the sequence...up through six or seven, at this point.

First sentence!

2011-12-03T19:06:00.001-08:00

For the past couple weeks, Starling and I have been eating dinner fifteen minutes before the older children so that we can get some time to connect (and eat) without constant interruptions. We figure we put in all the time making the food -- we're tired, we're hungry, we deserve to eat it in relative peace before taking on our nightly waiter/waitress shift. It works out pretty well, because then when the kids sit down, we're able to focus on their needs in a more cheerful frame of mind. I highly recommend it.

Mudpuppy, however, does eat with us -- just to keep him out of trouble. And it was while he was eating with us this past Wednesday that he said his first (real) sentence:

"Dada eat pizza!"

Made it up all on his own. Starling and I stopped in mid-pizza bite, looked at each other, and then started praising him. He just went back to eating his pizza, apparently unfazed. Maybe he's been thinking sentences for a while. Anyway, it is an honor for him to make my homemade pizza the object of his first sentence, since it is so very delicious!

We even took a picture to mark the occasion (see above).

He has also been singing variations of the "Alleluia" pretty nonstop recently -- often at the top of his lungs in various public places, and when he's sitting in his chair. I think he gets enough attention for it that he's kind of addicted to it now. He is actually pretty on key, for a two-year-old. So I am officially changing his nickname on this blog from Mudpuppy to Alleluia Boy.

First haircut

2011-11-22T20:10:00.001-08:00

Mudpuppy had his first haircut today...long overdue. Jaybird went first, so he could see that there was nothing to be afraid of. Here's how it went:

And here is how the girls look with their new, shorter hair...prompted in part by their desire to avoid all the tangles and hassle of brushing out long hair:

Aren't they cute?

Some zingers from the kids...

2011-11-21T20:21:00.001-08:00

Bear: "I really like praying the rosary. I'm thinking of founding a monastery devoted to praying the rosary, unless someone already thought of that idea."

* * *

As a family, we were reading and discussing the Sunday readings, including the iconic passage from Proverbs 31, on the virtues of a noble wife:

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So after reading that, my husband begins: "So, kids, what we have here is the Bible's description of an ideal married woman: she is good, loving, works hard, gives to the poor, and is wise and thoughtful. Right? She is not--"

And the 11-year-old boy interjects, "Mom!"

* * *

Things Mudpuppy says:

"Ohhh! Okay!" -- You'd have to hear it to appreciate it; it's a long, exaggerated "oh,' the kind someone says when they finally realize something.

"whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" -- Picked up from his older sister for anything that's too exciting for words.

A random act of kindness

2011-11-21T20:10:00.001-08:00

Well, this blog is called Gracewatch, and I guess things don't get more grace-y than this. Now, how would you like to get a note like this one in your mailbox? Even better when there's a couple of gift cards taped to the other side! This note made my week, I think, and came at a time when I needed a little boost of inspiration about my parenting vocation. And really, mid-November in Minnesota, who doesn't need a little boost!

It also got me thinking about whoever sent it. We've done a little detective work using informal handwriting analysis but haven't narrowed the field down by much. But I was also thinking about how much the sender must have enjoyed doing this. Maybe this Advent we'll take this on as a family project -- dropping secret notes to people who deserve an extra boost. So, if you happen to find an anonymous note like this one in your mailbox anytime soon, it's probably just a secret surprise from us.

Wait a sec -- I shouldn't have said that, I guess...oh well...just pretend you didn't read this....

Being beacons of light!

Veterans Day

2011-11-21T19:58:00.001-08:00

This past veteran's day, Mudpuppy and I went up to the Saint Mary's University Veterans Memorial for some quiet prayer observing the day. We were joined by a few friends. This has become something of an annual ritual since the memorial was erected. We prayed for all veterans...especially those we know personally, who are cherished friends and family members...and we prayed for peace, so that this little one and all children might never know the horror of war.

And we once again read the words of the Church, from the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church, #497:

The Magisterium condemns “the savagery of war” and asks that war be considered in a new way. In fact, “it is hardly possible to imagine that in an atomic era, war could be used as an instrument of justice”. War is a “scourge” and is never an appropriate way to resolve problems that arise between nations, “it has never been and it will never be”, because it creates new and still more complicated conflicts. When it erupts, war becomes an “unnecessary massacre”, an “adventure without return” that compromises humanity's present and threatens its future. “Nothing is lost by peace; everything may be lost by war”. The damage caused by an armed conflict is not only material but also moral. In the end, war is “the failure of all true humanism”, “it is always a defeat for humanity”: “never again some peoples against others, never again! ... no more war, no more war!”

Of birthdays and various things

2011-11-10T20:32:00.001-08:00

Well, it has been a long time since I last posted...it is insanely crazy around here, again...so here's a quick catch-up post.

The weather continues to be exceptionally mild (for the most part...we had snowflakes
in the air today)...extending the playground season.

I turned 42 on Nov. 7. A few nights earlier, Starling and I went out to eat in La Crosse (woo-hoo!), the first time we'd done that in years, due to Mudpuppy being so young. I went looking for a fancy-but-not-too-expensive restaurant and thought I found one in the Waterfront. I couldn't get their menus to come up, but another review said they were "reasonable," which turns out to be a relative term...as we found out. Everything was wonderful, from the service to the ambiance to the (truly amazing) food. Starling said she had the best scallops she'd ever tasted, which is saying something for a girl who grew up on the Eastern seaboard, and whose parents now live on the Gulf Coast. But I couldn't help feeling bad about the expense...what would St. Francis say???!!! Yikes. The penultimate "fancy restaurant" moment came when someone other than our server stopped at the table just to brush a few bread crumbs off the white linen tablecloth.

Isn't this just cute? It's a mousse something or other...note the little ice bridge
connecting the two berries...and that is a curl of pure chocolate on top. $9.

My favorite part of my birthday is getting homemade gifts from the kids, along with their kind words. Every year I say the same thing: "Do you know what my best present is? You!" Only this year when I said, "Do you know what my favorite present is?", the older kids said, "Yeah, yeah, us!" And I said, "No! These warm pajamas!" Ha ha, just kidding. The older ones are at that jokey stage. We ended the party with a big group hug.

Mouse and Jaybird with their paper airplanes.

The day of my actual birthday, the kids were off of school. Happy birthday, you get to watch the kids all day! Actually, they were very good -- they entertained themselves most of the day. They rediscovered paper airplanes, and spent hours making them and flying them, both indoors and outdoors.

And finally, before I turn in for the night, here is a bit from the kids' Fall Sharing Night:

Bear with the classroom salamander.

Mouse with an algebraic cube.

Jaybird demonstrating her mastery of terms for three-dimensional geometric objects.
She also demonstrated a word-matching work.

And here is Bear with his favorite work -- maps! Here he is working on placing
city names on a map of the Ukraine.

That's all for now!

Happy Halloween! And All Saints Day!

2011-11-10T20:07:00.001-08:00

Well, this post is past due, but better late than never, right?

We celebrated All Saints Day before Halloween this year, since our church's ASD party was on the Sunday before Halloween. It was very similar to last year's format -- family folk dancing followed by a potluck and "guess the saint" costume contest -- so I won't repeat all of that here. This year, Mouse went as St. Elizabeth of Portugal, Bear went as St, Paul Miki, and Jaybird went as St. Julia Billiart. Another girl went as St. Julia the fourth century martyr, which took her by surprise. Mudpuppy went as Juan Diego, except he refused to wear the tilma that Starling made for him.

The girls made their own pumpkins, by themselves, this year.

Halloween was little weird. We visited the Kensington again; that is my favorite part of the whole night. The residents dress up and sit behind tables in the dining room; the kids go along from table to table collecting treats while the residents smile and say nice things about them, always urging them to take more candy. I love seeing how happy it makes the residents when the kids visit. They especially liked little Mudpuppy, who went along in his little pumpkin costume, cautiously taking the candy -- and then trying to put it into the basket held out by the next resident in line, or taking more than one piece, not out of greed but because they're pretty. He was getting into the swing of it by the end!

We promised to stop by the Catholic Worker for dinner, but before we did, we swung by the parish rectory at the invitation of Fr. Jim, who loves M&Ms.

Yeah, this picture isn't the greatest, due to the dim light and
excited kids.

Then we headed over to the Catholic Worker, where we shared in sweet potato soup and black beans and rice, all of which the kids barely touched. That was weird because we ended up being the only guests (besides one other guest living in the house).

Then Jaybird wanted to stay for the Halloween party, so we left her at the Bethany House (the other house, where the party was -- not the house that we had dinner in). Several of the former live-in volunteers said they'd watch her. She carved pumpkins with one of her friends (a guest at the family house and a classmate from school), had lots of cake and brownies and cookies, and watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" on the front porch. She actually preferred that to trick-or-treating.

Jaybird with her friend at the party

That left Mouse and I to go around the neighborhood; Bear is "too old" at age eleven, so he stayed home and answered the door, and Mudpuppy had had it anyway. As usual, trick-or-treating in our neighborhood is part moveable block party -- a great way to reconnect with people we haven't seen since June (at the actual block party) as well as our older shut-ins. This year, Mouse went as a Snow Princess, which she had to explain to everyone, since she was wearing a long, blue gown. Also, she carried a ball that had a floating eyeball in it, and that lit up when you bounced it. She was very talkative with the neighbors, stopping to chat with everyone.

Our pumpkins. I especially
like the one on its side. Sadly,
they were nibbled on by
squirrels before we even lit them.

Despite working alone, Mouse managed to bring back quite a haul. At three pieces a day, they're still only halfway through it!

"Amazing Grace"

2011-10-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

Lately the kids have been singing "Amazing Grace" to Mudpupp -- don't ask me how this started, I'm sure I have no idea. In any case, he really likes it, and demands that they sing by repeating, "Song! Song!" until they do.

Stranger still, he has started learning the song himself. A few times now, he's sung the entire first verse all the way through -- although only when we're not paying direct attention. If we ask him to sing, he just looks at us silently, smiling. His pronunciation lacks a great deal, but he gets the basic shape of the words, as well as the melody: "Amazin' 'ace, sweet ah sound, ah save ah wretch lie me!" and so on, all the way down to: "...was los', now ah see!" It gave me goosebumps the first time he did it -- while I was changing him!

Mudpuppy likes to swing on the big-kid swings

Picking pumpkins last weekend - he was a little intimidated
at first by all the pumpkins, but enjoyed seeing a real cat
close up.

Helping with the pizza dough. He believes in being VERY liberal
with the spices!

Mouse and Jaybird carving their own pumpkins. Bear is
"too old" for such things.

Grandma hanging out with the kids on a sunny fall day by the lake.

This afternoon we were prepping the kids for our All Saints party at church -- Bear went as Paul Miki, Mouse as Elizabeth of Portugal, and Jaybird as J8ulia Billiart. We helped them find symbols of their saints to use as hints in the "guess the saint" game. At one point, I asked Jaybird to pick something up in the bathroom, and as she did, she cheerfully said, "Well, I am going to be a saint someday."

"You think so, huh?"

"Yeah, 'cause a saint is just someone who loves God a real lot and is dead. And I think I will love God a real lot when I am grown up!"

That's the hard part, isn't it -- the loving. The dead part, not so much.

Barn dance

2011-10-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

So, the Winona Catholic Worker held a barn dance as a fundraiser last night...we had only light turnout, but the people who came had a great time. Perhaps none more than Mouse, however, who had an absolute blast. Here are excerpts from just one dance:

She had so much fun, she'd like to go again. I danced several dances with her (Starling was home with a fever, watching Mudpuppy) -- and she was smiling like this the whole time.

We were lucky to have great live music. These sorts of old-fashioned dances are so much fun, partly because everyone gets to participate. Jaybird came, too, and danced off to the side with a friend her age (they also ran around the church hall and ate bags and bags of popcorn). Bear came along, reluctantly, and found a friend from school; they sat talking on the sidelines until I harassed him into joining a circle dance. I think he may have enjoyed it -- but only secretly!

Mudpuppy at ECFE

2011-10-16T19:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some random shots of Mudpuppy at Early Childhood Family Education:

Playing in the sand table.


And so absorbed in his book at the end of class that he doesn't even notice it's time to go home!

No child's career in our family is complete without this classic shot!

A magnificent fall

2011-10-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

This autumn has been pretty magnificent, if you ignore the rather cold and dreary weeks we had in the middle of September. Some highlights:

This afternoon we got out and raked leaves. It's a bit weird to be throwing
leaves into the compost while we're still harvesting basil and tomatoes,
but there you go.

The littlest kids enjoy being pulled to the compost pile in back. Their job is
to keep the leaves from blowing away en route. Jaybird is ready to roll in
the wheelbarrow (background); she enjoys being dumped in the growing
pile of leaves at the end.

Here's where all those leaves come from. They glow on the trees on sunny days.

Every noon, before his nap, Mudpuppy insists on going on a walk by the lake.
This is his favorite park bench (actually a bench swing).

We've taken quite a few fall color walks as a family lately. Last weekend,
we walked along the creek at Moyer Park in Bloomington. Here's Jaybird.

"Uncle Andy" on the same walk.

And the kids on a walk in the bluffs the week before that.

And today we went to the Bluffview Fall Festival, which was held on a farm.
See Jaybird (Dalmation cape) on the hayride?

Meanwhile, the older kids spent most of the time jumping around the haystacks
piled up to the rafters in the barn.


And besides the fall color, we've also been enjoying a profusion of Morning Glories--finally!

Mudpuppy's birthday!

2011-10-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

Mudpuppy had a great birthday last Friday! Of course, he was mostly oblivious to what was going on, but everyone enjoyed the festivities on his behalf. Starling came home from work early, and then we all went on a walk in the bluffs--the fall has been gorgeous, very unlike what the weather was two years ago after bringing the baby home.

Mudpuppy is ALMOST big enough to keep up on these long walks...he still
gets to be carried part of the way, though!

C'mon, give us that famous smile! Okay, a smirk will have to do.

He tolerated the Birthday Hat, unlike his older sibs, but didn't want to blow out
the candle!

Mudpuppy needs no persuasion in the chocolate cake dept.

Among his favorite gifts: One of those push-popper things
(the kind with the annoying balls that pop around in a bubble),
this little racetrack, some nesting boxes, and a wood puzzle.

Stacking the nesting boxes is fun--but not as much as knocking
them down!

Mudpuppy turns two!

2011-10-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

Mudpuppy had a fine, fine birthday today -- despite not having a clue about what was going on. Next week, I will post some funny pictures of his bewildered looks. Until then, you can go read "Almost two...but not quite" now that I have added the second half of the story of his typical day.

Why I hate protests...and why I go anyway

2011-10-07T21:11:00.001-07:00

October is Respect Life month, and today is the tenth anniversary of the war in Afghanistan. So last Sunday when it was announced in church that the annual Life Chain protest would be held that afternoon a block from our house, I rounded up the kids and out we went.

As a person who hates confrontation and likes to be liked, I don't enjoy protests one bit. Way too public. You stand there watching thousands of cars going by in an hour, wondering exactly how many friends and acquaintances you're losing by speaking out. Which is one very good reason for doing it -- practicing the virtue of humility, and also the virtue of honesty. It's not much good having friends and acquaintances if you have to hide your beliefs from them. For that matter, it's not much good being friends with someone if you're not willing to speak hard truths to them once in a while.

Another reason why I don't like protests is because I think they're usually pretty ineffective. You stand there carrying a sign that people may or may not be able to read. You get maybe five or six words, max. It's worse than Twitter. And usually, if it's worth protesting, the issue is probably complex, full of misunderstanding, and highly emotionally charged. I personally doubt whether anyone's mind has been changed on an issue by a sign at a protest -- although I know that it can and does happen, especially if the sign is thought-provoking, and reaches someone at the right moment.

But beyond being a very inefficient way of promoting change, the other thing I don't like about protests is the way they set up an us-vs.-them division that almost immediately shuts down any possibility for conversation. People drive by, see your sign, and then they're gone. If they agree with you, they feel affirmed in their beliefs; if not, they dismiss you as an extremist wacko. End of conversation. Moving closer to a resolution on these important issues requires something more: an in-depth, ongoing conversation, ideally within the context of a relationship in which both sides feel safe. Where can those kinds of conversations happen anymore? I have no idea. Part of the reason we're so divided and angry as a nation, I think, is the lack of opportunities to really discuss our differences in an intelligent manner.

Another reservation I have about protests is more pastoral. What effect does my anti-war sign have on a veteran who is recently back from the war? What effect does my anti-abortion sign have on the many women who have had abortions? In both cases, I think there is a great risk in poking a stick at someone's rawest, most intimate, most vulnerable places, stirring up all those emotions without any followup. "Violence is always wrong, but none of us are perfect and I respect your intrinsic dignity no matter what mistakes you may have made" just doesn't fit on a sign, and wouldn't really be sufficient even if it did. When I was at the University of Minnesota, our pro-life group did lots of demonstrations on the sidewalks on campus, or in the student union. (We mostly had information and displays.) There was a lot more opportunity for interaction, including some very enlightening discussions with women who had had abortions. Some of these discussions went on for a long time, like an hour or more. As we talked, we generally moved from her anger and rage to a somewhat calmer discussion that usually revealed a great deal of pain and hurt. (One young woman finally revealed that her own mother frequently told her that she wished she had aborted her. Wow.) You can't have those kinds of discussions when people are driving by in their car, looking at the six words on your sign.

Yet despite all this,I went to the protest anyway. And took my kids.

The only thing worse than that kind of protest is silence, and today there is a great conspiracy of silence around publicly sanctioned violence of all kinds. We simply do not want to talk about it; it's too divisive and uncomfortable, But as painful and inconvenient as it is, we have to talk about these issues, because the worst thing about publicly sanctioned violence is what it does to us as people, and as a society. It kills us just as surely as it kills the people it's directed against...the one type of death just takes longer, is all.

I recently finished reading In the Garden of the Beasts, the true story of William Dodd, ambassador to Germany during the rise of the Nazi party. Dodd was slow to realize the threat of Nazism, in part because of his own prejudices; but once he did, he did what he could to resist it, and he spoke out vigorously warning the United States and the western powers of the threat. He was not just ignored; people in the press and the State Department actively campaigned against him because of his outspokenness.

Such situations have repeated themselves throughout the history of civilization. Another fine example would be the persistence of slavery in the American south. What is amazing about it is that when you read the accounts of the people who were in power at the time, many acknowledged the evil of slavery, and the corrosive effect it had on the nation. "But what can be done?" they asked. Raising the issue in polite society in certain circles was just as likely to rupture relationships and kill a dinner party as raising the issue of abortion is today.

The only redeeming quality of protests, I think, is that they break the silence. They say: "All is not well...we need to talk." Perhaps they prick the conscience, even just a little. And if nothing else, they leave a record for future generations that not all were silent in the face of evil.

And so we went out. We brought our own signs, because I don't like the ones they provide at these events. One said: "SAY NO TO VIOLENCE / ABORTION - WAR - DEATH PENALTY"; another said: "SAY YES TO LIFE AND PEACE / FRIENDSHIP + ADOPTION"; the third, which we made for Jaybird, read: "I (heart) life!" She had fun painting the letters each in a different color. I like the "Say no to violence" sign the best because I think pointing out that both abortion and war are, at their root, acts of violence may be thought provoking to people on all points of the political spectrum. (So many are opposed to one but not really the other.)

Several hundred people attended the protest, lining the street for about a mile. We stood at the very end, at the busy intersection near our house. The kids came voluntarily and stayed for half an hour; just as we were leaving, a woman drove up and started yelling a string of profanities out the window -- she was truly furious. Fortunately, she was a little difficult to hear, and Jaybird interpreted her rant as being about the Vikings. (The woman used the F word repeatedly.)

Many people question the wisdom of bringing kids to a protest. To them I would answer that yes, it is good to use prudent caution when deciding whether kids should be involved or not. But if their physical safety is not at risk, then I believe that such experiences have some value in helping kids become responsible adults who do not stand by quietly as others are being systematically denied basic human rights, or even the right to life itself. In another time, another place, I would hope that my grown children would be among the brave few who publicly rejected Nazism. In another time, another place, I would hope that my grown children would be among the brave few to work for the abolition of slavery and segregation.

We have been reading the lives of the saints this summer. After reading the story of St. Terese of the Child Jesus (the one who called herself "the little flower"), the kids were particularly impressed. "Maybe we could become saints, too," Bear suggested. "Maybe we all could."

Standing on a street corner with a sign doesn't make one a saint. But being brave enough to stand up and speak out when the most vulnerable members of society are being harmed...that's a good place to start, I guess.

Almost two...but not quite

2011-10-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

Recently, Mudpuppy has decided that it's fun to climb into the play fort on his own...
even if he can't quite get down by himself yet.

It's time for a Mudpuppy update! Here's his typical day, now that the kidsare in school:

Normally, he sleeps through the night -- although we just realized (about aweek ago) that he has the same cyclic vomitting issue that Mouse developed atthat age, so once in a while, he wakes up earlier because of nausea. When hewakes up, he sits up and looks around; sometimes he will come to the gate atthe bedroom doorway and look out and shout, "Hi!" Eventually someone(usually Starling) comes in to change him. He's very enthusiastic aboutgreeting everyone in the morning!

Then it's downstairs for breakfast -- typically a sliced-up apple withpeanut butter, a banana, or maybe some cereal and milk. He can say"cereal," "banana," and "drink," but beyond thathe typically just watches the other kids, occasionally supplying aninterjection or exclamation to the conversation. This morning, he actuallystarted pointing at the people sitting around the table and naming them. Hedoes “Mama,” “Dada,” and the oldest kids’ names pretty well, but he hasn’tquite got the hang of Jaybird’s name yet. He sits there pointing at her andstaring, like it’s going to come to him any minute now.

Breakfast ends when he starts saying "Down" or when he startsthrowing his food, or dumping it out all over the place.

Then it's into the car to take the other kids to school. "Car!" heannounces, over and over again. "Car! Car! Car!" He points to theback door and leads the charge.

In his car seat, he likes to read the morning paper (just kidding) or a bookthat one of the kids has left around. He’s actually very interested in books,probably because he sees all of the “big” people around the house reading them.He "talks" with the other kids, sometimes. If music has been playingand a song finishes, he will sometimes say, "Yay!" and clap hishands.
In fact, he will say “Yay!” for anything that he is excited about now.Announce a snack and he’ll clap his hands (or raise them in the air) andexclaim, “Yay!” with that trademark grin on his face.

As the kids leave the car, he may wave goodbye to them and say, “Bye-bye!” Hedoes that a lot now, especially to store clerks. If he sees a bus drive away,he will say, “Bye-bye bus!”

Then it’s usually off to run errands. If we go to the store, he willtolerate sitting in the cart for only so long before pointing down and saying, “Down!Down!” I usually let him down, if possible, on the theory that the morestimulation and exercise he gets, the sooner he will go down for his nap. (Mymotives are pure, I tell you.) I am trying to teach him not to touch, but it’shard when you’re dealing with a young toddler who has very little impulsecontrol, in an environment that is constantly presenting new and interestingthings, and on top of that, every single adult in the store is picking thingsup off the shelves. Toddlers really do want to do whatever the big people aredoing; I think it’s a hard-wired survival instinct (“Learn as fast as you can!”).He walks through any store like he owns the place, bustling along, head down orswinging side to side. As he goes along, he says “Hi!” to absolutely everyonehe meets, raising a hand in a casual greeting. He turns heads, as you canimagine.

He occasionally stops and tries to take things off the shelves; I tell himnot to touch, and then eventually he ends up back in the cart, begging to getdown again, which I may let him after a few minutes.

At the checkout, his job is to help me empty the cart, a task he performswith relish. A few items tend to sail overboard every time.

If we’re not shopping, we’re probably going to a class somewhere. These daysI’m swimming at the YMCA on Mondays and Wednesdays to get in shape, so he staysat the Kids Corner childcare room for an hour or so while I do that. (I’mtaking adult swim lessons in the early evening on Fridays.) He has not beenliking that one bit, but he only fusses a little bit; then he’s fine, and healways seems happy when I come back. On Tuesdays we go to Parenting with theSpirit at church; for some reason, he seems to be better about staying in thechildcare room there, maybe because he is so familiar with it by this point. OnThursday mornings, we go to Early Childhood Family Education classes. When it’stime to separate, he goes toddling off after the other kids into the Zoom Roomwith nary a backwards glance. I think he’s okay with it because I spent thelast half of last year staying with him in the kids’ room for half the class;he knows the routine. (See the picture below of him painting at ECFE!)

If we end up staying home to do chores, he is my shadow, generally undoingwhatever I am trying to do. Or making a new mess somewhere else. The other dayI finally tackled cleaning out the refrigerator; with a chore like that, mychoices are to either 1) strap him into a high chair for an hour, or 2) try tointegrate him into the job and just minimize the damage as much as possible. Inthe case of the refrigerator, he had a blast pulling bottles and containers outand putting them on the floor, in cabinets, on the table, etc., and thenputting them back into the refrigerator, haphazardly. He looks so proud ofhimself!

I need to stop here in order to head to bed, but I will try to post part twolater this week.

(Part two follows below the pictures.)

He insisted on riding the saddle swings, just like his big sister.

Ah, yes...the venerable wooden toy train set, now being
enjoyed by a fourth generation of small hands.

One of his first paintings at ECFE.

Part 2

Lunchtime comes around 11, sometimes earlier. He adoresapples, which he will eat whole or halved; potato chips (none of the other kidsgot potato chips at his age, but he sees his sibs with them, and they like toshare!); and—ketchup! He really likes ketchup. If the refrigerator door isopen, he will take it out, hold it up, and say, “Yum!” He likes ketchup withhis French fries or with hot dogs. He will also eat grapes and bananas andpears and other fruit. When he’s full, or if he can’t swallow something (applepeels), he spits out whatever is in his mouth.

By 12:30, it’s time for “night night.” I have threestrategies for trying to get him to sleep. One is to take him on a walk in thestroller; that works sometimes, but not usually. Still, the weather has been sobeautiful in the last week or so (highs in the 80s every day!), we’ve beentaking a lot of walks by the lake. He REALLY loves that. If we’re in thegarage, he will pull out the stroller and beg to “walk, walk!” He likes lookingat the passing scenery. We have our own park bench—a swinging one, near whereour street runs into the park—and we sit there and watch the ducks and thepassersby. He comments on every dog that passes: “Dog! Woof! Woof!” (He learnedthis from a Sandra Boynton book.)

A second strategy is to take him somewhere in the car and hopehe falls asleep on the way home—tricky, because sometimes he falls asleep onthe way to wherever you’re going. If he does fall asleep in the car, I can pickhim up and move him to his bed without him waking up, which is a new experiencefor us.

A third strategy is to simply put him in his bed, read him afew stories, and lie down with him until he goes to sleep. I use this optionwhen I need a little nap myself. He is possibly the only one of our kids whodoesn’t resist taking a nap; he is enthusiastic about getting into bed. Helikes flopping backward on the bed. He likes reading the stories (lots ofsimple board books). And he likes tickling. Lately, I have occasionally put himto bed, kissed him good night, and then closed the door and walked away. Iknow, this is not novel to you guys who have been doing the same thing sinceyour kids were babies, but it’s breaking new ground in our house.

Once he is asleep, he’s down for at least an hour. Duringthat time, I can talk, walk past his bedroom, vacuum, run heavy machinery,blast rock, etc. with no effect on his nap. After that initial period, I do tryto be more quiet. He generally sleeps for a couple of hours, getting up atabout 3.

At that point, Starling takes over. She changes him, feedshim a snack, and generally tries to keep him out of trouble whilesimultaneously preparing dinner and managing the other three kids, which IDEEPLY appreciate! (No, I do not feel the least bit guilty, since that has been—andwill be—my job when she’s teaching. A year off from the afternoon grind everyten years or so is not too much to ask, is it?)

Sometimes in the late afternoons he will go outside with theother kids. He climbs up on the play equipment—which is pretty high for a kidhis age, and probably not safe, so we try to spot him. He can climb up but hecan’t get down by himself. He will slide down the slide (saying, “Whee!”) ifsomeone spots him. He also likes swinging in his swing very much; he can dothat for half an hour, if he has someone with that kind of patience to pushhim.

Another thing he does outside is play with a basin of waterthat we set out on the picnic table (which is on the deck). He likes usingbuckets and cups to pour water back and forth, and works very intently for along time. Sometimes we will give him the hose, which we turn on just enough sothat it drips. He ends up completely soaked most of the time, but when it’swarm out, who cares? It’s the one thing that keeps him occupied for any seriouslength of time.

Another thing he likes to do is to load and unload thedishwasher, which is one reason why we now let the dishes pile up until he’snot around. He also likes to drag out all the pots and pans, and the kitchenutensils, and pretend to cook. The funniest thing he does is to take the ovenmitts out of the drawer, put them on, and stand by the oven door, pointing atit with his oversized hands. “Hot,” he says, very seriously. “Hot!” He knowsnot to touch it now.

Suppertime is generally a disaster. He’s usually not hungry,so he picks at his food, or throws it, or is constantly demanding things he can’thave. A little later in the evening, we have family prayer, which lasts abouthalf an hour. He tears around the living room playing with the loudest toyspossible, climbing on people’s laps, kicking them (accidentally), talking,singing, taking things out of the desk drawers, etc., until I pick him up andhold him on my lap, over his protests. On the up side, he REALLY enjoyssinging, and will try to join in when we sing a song together. He also followsalong with all the major prayers; he can’t say the words, of course, but hemumbles a decent approximation, and says “Amen!” loudly and enthusiastically atall the right places. At church, too, he seems more intent on what is happeningup front than any of our other children at this age.

Bedtime is a long, drawn-out routine. Starling usually liesdown with him. She reads him three or four books, sometimes more than once.Then she sings songs to him, which he enjoys greatly, smiling and saying, “Again!”And then he spends about half an hour tossing and turning before he fallsasleep for good.

And that is a good thumbnail sketch of Matthewat age two!

When he's ready to go to bed, he says, "Nye, nye!" before embarking on an
elaborate bedtime routine that involves several stories, three songs, and an adult
(usually Starling) staying with him until he falls asleep.

Making honey

2011-09-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, friends invited us to their house to see how they process honey from their bee hives. It was a fascinating -- and sticky! -- experience:

What you don't get to see in this video is everyone enjoying fresh honey on fresh cornbread. Mmm!

Goodbye to summer!

2011-09-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially fall now, and the jackets are hanging on the hooks by the back door. Time to catch up on how we rounded out our summer!

Mouse and I went on a bike ride by the lake one day -- she was having a rough day and needed some alone time with a parent. We sat on this bench and watched the sun set. As we biked along the path, she commented on how "romantic" various spots would be. She liked the idea of having a date under a willow tree, but thought that the bugs might be an issue. This bench made an acceptable alternative. We also talked about all the types of jobs she could possibly have when she grows up -- all the different types of writing and artist jobs, and other possibilities, too.

Here is a great shot of my mom with Mudpuppy. We took this picture during our visit to the Cities (at the same time we visited the state fair). This shot required multiple takes!

I ask you, would summer ever be complete without a lemonade stand picture? No, it would not. Jaybird and her friend sat out on the sidewalk for more than an hour and got three (non-family) customers. God bless people who stop for little kids' lemonade stands; they are nurturing the nation's future Job Creators (as our Republican friends would say). It's a patriotic act, I tell you. It's too bad I didn't take video -- they spent much of the time marching up and down the sidewalk yelling, at the top of their lungs, "LEMONADE! ONLY 25 CENTS!"

Bear enjoyed kayaking on the lake, but he really enjoyed...

...this paddle board. You stand on it and use a long paddle to get around. Park rec had a couple for "rent" (for free) this summer, and they were very popular indeed. Bear couldn't stop talking about it for a few weeks.

Icee pop on the deck...pretty much speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Last weekend was really warm...the perfect day to go canoeing on the lake with friends!

This summer, if Mouse has not been reading, she's been scootering, back and forth down the sidewalk in front of our house. She pretends that she's flying, which she almost looks like she is.

Making honey! One of the great things about this town is connecting with so many people who are connected to the land -- including some friends of ours who not only raise chickens in their (urban) backyard, but also keep bees. We visited them as they extracted the honey from the combs -- I have a video of this that I will post if I have time.

Bear also got to go out on the river a few times with his good friend's family. Once, they went jumping into the river from this rope swing on an unnamed island. Here's Bear jumping in.

No garden tour this year! I think I have to deem the garden a bust this year. Our harvest of everything from tomatoes to carrots to peppers and apples and berries was really disappointing, nothing like previous years. I put this down partly to the bizarre weather, and the hottest summer on record (peppers and tomatoes don't set fruit when the nighttime temps are too high); partly, to some basic mistakes on my part (for instance, interplanting carrots and lettuce too close), partly to dumb luck. However, there's always a silver lining...and in our case, that lining comes in the many colors of our bumper crop of fall flowers. We have morning glories for the first time this year, as well as dozens of these stunning sunflowers.

And that seems an appropriate way to wrap up this post!

Adoption update

2011-09-18T21:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts. I have been insanely busy, mostly with volunteer work. I need to cut down on that. (He says as he prepares to go to yet another work-generating committee meeting tomorrow evening.)

I wanted to quickly update people on our adoption situation. We are currently compiling the application for the home study, a seven-page interrogation that has become something of a nightmare. (Lost it twice, after hours of work; don't ask.)

We've also narrowed down the list of children we're considering adopting. We have printed out this list, with photos, and are praying for each of them every night -- that they all will be adopted soon, and that God will provide us with some sign of which child might fit best with our family. At this point, it feels like we've whittled down our choices based on practical considerations as much as we can; given the lack of detailed information about these children, it's going to be hard to make a decision.

Here are the children; click on the name for information on each one. I don't think we're soliciting advice here so much as prayers and support during this process. The good news is that we're not under pressure to make a final decision anytime soon, at least until the home study is completed in a couple months.

Generally, these names are not the child's real names. Also, note that Alex has a warrior (someone actively advocating and fundraising for his adoption), an awesome 17-year-old Canadian girl named Joanna; see her blog, with more pictures of Alex, here. It doubles as a personal blog, so you may have to click around to find the entries about Alex.

First day of school

2011-09-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

It was the kids' first day of school on Tuesday. As you can see, they met the day with shining, expectant faces!

Overall, it was a pretty smooth launch. Everyone got up and dressed early enough, the kids were in an upbeat mood, and we had time for a few small rituals. We usually do a blessing for the beginning of the school year -- we did that again, this time with our first-class relic of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton (patron saint of schools and schoolchildren) at hand. Then we had pictures, and we drove the kids into school.

For the first time, we did not go in with the kids. We've found that Jaybird does better separating at the car. Unfortunately, it was a rather chaotic scene when we dropped them off, and right away Jaybird got lost in the crowd and panicked. A teacher got Mouse, who guided her to her new classroom -- Mouse's old classroom.

Bear had shown signs of being nervous about the first day -- he has another new teacher (they're supposed to have the same one for three years in Montessori), so I think he was anxious about that. Mouse was worried about being separated from all her old friends and not having any friends in the classroom. Jaybird was a little anxious about the new routine in first grade -- not knowing the work and all.

Mudpuppy stayed home, but he has his own
"school" experiences on Tuesday and
Thursday mornings.

But when they finally came home, everyone gave a positive report. Bear had nothing but praise for his new teacher, especially the way she handled the class. He also said he was going to make a couple new friends this year. Mouse made a new friend, someone new to Bluffview. And Jaybird -- well, actually, she complained quite a bit about all the "sitting, sitting, sitting" they had to do on the first day while they went over the rules. Her experience may have been colored by the fact that she couldn't find her bus at the end of the day -- Mouse, who was supposed to guide her to the right bus, was nowhere to be seen, so she started to panic. That got the teachers' attention, and they spied Bear walking away from the school -- he had had our permission to walk home, but the teachers didn't know that, so they held him. They got Jaybird hooked up with Mouse on the right bus, and I got a call from Jaybird's teacher about Bear walking home around 2:30. It was so late at that point that I just went and picked him up with the car. (It's a half-hour walk home.)

Mouse and Jaybird spent over an hour on the bus ride home. It's incredibly ridiculous that they get home an hour after dismissal, given that we live 5 minutes from school; the bus drives right past the house all the way to the east end of town, then works its way back. I guess they lost a kid on the first day, which contributed to the delay, but they were really late again today. We'll see how this plays out....

Anyway, we ended the day with a special dinner, including double chocolate brownies for dessert. :)

Here's a video of the morning and homecoming. Sorry for the blurry middle section -- the camera started out out of focus and doesn't auto-focus once it's in video mode.

Bear's new blog

2011-09-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Bear has a new blog that he's super excited about.

I have made no secret to Bear that I am not particularly fond of his Nintendo and his fixation with all things video-game related. We limit his screen time to an hour a day (that's televisions, computers, anything with a screen). However, the other day I was musing on his constant desire to make money...as well as his total aversion to practicing his writing...as well as the fact that the greatest source of job security ten years from now when he's looking for his first job will probably be a strong tech background...and it occurred to me that maybe we could address all of those concerns at once if he had a blog about...(sob!)...video games.

When i suggested this idea to him, his face lit up with a thousand-watt smile, and he started jumping up and down on his toes. Well, between yesterday and today, he has probably put in eight hours on this thing. He was totally thrilled when he checked his stats and found that someone from Germany had read his blog. He's also excited about the possibility of earning some pocket money, but we've warned him not to expect much, or anything at all for a while.

So, if you'd like to do a kindness to an eleven-year-old boy, you could visit his video game review blog. And if you were extra kind, you might link to it from your own web presence. :) Ask us for the url.

Getting ready for school

2011-08-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

We're very busy getting ready for the start of school these days, and one of the items on our list is the annual family photo. Children's House and E1 classrooms at our Montessori school ask the children to bring a photo of their family to keep in the classroom -- hence the annual chore. Here's this year's version, taken by our nextdoor neighbor.

Goodbye, CatholicWeddingHelp.com -- and good luck!

2011-08-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today is the official "closing" day of my deal to sell CatholicWeddingHelp.com to Our Sunday Visitor. The paperwork is all signed, the money is in the bank, and it only took two hours to transfer the domain, files, and associated accounts to the control of OSV.

This is exciting news for three reasons. First, obviously, the financial boost is going to help, mainly by clearing some small debts, and also in terms of getting the adoption process rolling. Second, I don't have to worry about it anymore. Being the top result for "Catholic wedding" and having some 500,000 visitors projected for this year had made it into a big responsibility -- and frankly, I already have a fulltime job caring for four children without worrying about keeping the website up to date and fresh, and answering couples' questions. That is not to say that it hasn't been enjoyable. As the president of OSV said, it's obviously been a work of passion. And I have enjoyed helping out couples with their questions via e-mail. It's offered a real interesting glimpse into the wide variety of experiences people bring to the Church.

But the third reason I'm excited about the sale is that OSV is going to be able to take the website to the next level. They have the editorial staff, advertising staff, technical staff, and financial resources necessary to support and develop the website, so that couples preparing for marriage in the Church will continue to have a place to turn for answers to their practical questions for years to come. They are pairing it with their new marriage preparation program, Together In God's Love.

I'm hoping that this will mark a transition for me away from website development into a career path more focused on writing. Yeah, I know everybody's stampeding in the opposite direction, but I'm more of a words guy than a tech guy, and the technical expertise -- not to mention the degree of social networking marketing investment -- necessary to keep these websites going is increasing by the week. And I can't wait to get back to writing in a more focused way.

Cheap laundry soap, better than Tide

2011-08-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

Got this laundry soap recipe from Winona ECFE. A friend made up a batch for me last October, and it has lasted until now -- nearly ten months. Total cost of the ingredients for that batch (about 5 gallons of laundry detergent) was $10 or so. Works great -- a number of moms in my ECFE class swear by it, say it's better than Tide. Even a couple moms who say they're picky about their laundry, which I am not. And you can't beat the price. The only issue I've found is that when storing it in a five-gallon container, it needs to be stirred occasionally to prevent settling. (You can also store the concentrated form in empty laundry detergent bottles.) Here's the recipe, written up by the inimitable Jenah Hensel:

1 Fels Naptha bar
1 cup washing soda
1/2 cup borax
1 five gallon pail with a lid

All those weird ingredients are available at Hy-vee, or any other major store in the laundry detergent aisle.

Grate the Fels Naptha bar up. It will look like shredded cheddar cheese. In a sauce pan, melt together the bar and 4 cups of water. Stir, and it takes awhile, 15 minutes or so.

Fill the five gallon pail half full with hot water. Mix in the washing soda, Borax, and the melted Fels Naptha water mixture. Fill up the pail with more hot water. Allow sitting overnight, to gel.

The next day, mix up the stuff. I actually did it with my hand/arm. Just dig right in there! Spoon or even a joint-compound mixer would work well). Looks like egg drop soup, the picture is what is looks like at this point. Now use an old Tide container, or Snuggle, or whatever, fill it half with water, half with the soap mixture. Shake it all about.

For standard washing machines, use 5/8 cup. For high efficiency (HE) use 1/4 cup. Hot, Cold, Warm, whatever you wanna use for water, that is up to you. Use cold, it's cheaper.

Here is the breakdown:
Makes 10 gallons of laundry soap
180 loads for standard
640 for HE
Costs around $2 to make this much
No real smell after the clothes are washed, but smells like my grandma (which is nice) when making it

Visiting the Great Minnesota Get Together (part 2 of our late summer vacation)

2011-08-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

Really, nothing says "the Minnesota State Fair" like a kid holding a giant blow-up cow, does it?

Mouse won this right off the bat, not twenty minutes in. We went to something called "Little Farmhands" (sponsored by Kemps: "It's the Cows!") where little kids get to pretend to be farmers. This consists of "planting" plastic seeds, "feeding" plastic seeds to plastic cows and hens, and "harvesting" plastic eggs, apples, and milk, which is then redeemed for "real" food wrapped in real plastic at the end of the exhibit. Well, the first thing that happens is they get a temporary "tattoo" on their arm. Well, Mouse's tattoo was one of a handful of lucky winners, because the lady who picked it out got all excited and said, "Hey, you won a cow!" and headed over to this big fenced-in area full of mournful-looking plastic cows.

Remember how I spent a week getting rid of half the kids' toys earlier in the summer? If so, you know how happy I was to hear that. I had forgotten the downside of the state fair -- all the junk they give you to cart home and throw away in your garbage. But, Mouse was "proud" to have won, and obviously very happy with "Bessie," so I carted her back to the car.

Mudpuppy navigates the farm, with Bear's help.

The Minnesota State Fair is one of the largest fairs in the country, and it has the highest average daily attendance of any fair in the country. having experienced both of these facts on previous trips, I spent several hours mapping our strategy the day before. That helped, somewhat, but we still experienced the "bigness" of the fair mid-afternoon as we struggled through the massive crowds on the south side of the fair.

Besides the Little Farm Hands, we saw a dog training show, a horse show ("Boring," opined Bear, although the girls liked it), and had real ice cream in the dairy barn -- probably the best soft-serve ice cream I have ever tasted anywhere, hands down. And it's relatively cheap, too, in fair terms, which means there is a massive line for it -- but fortunately, it only takes ten minutes to get through the line, since they have a well-oiled, well-staffed operation.

Sadly, we missed out on the stuff on a stick, and the deep-fried everything. I did have my eye on some deep-fried pie, and would've stopped for some if we hadn't been so harried at the time.

What else? The girls did the "Kidway" amusement rides, with mixed results. Definitely not the adults' favorite part of the fair, but there you go. Bear saw a high school robotics competition, and a high-flying trampoline act that was definitely impressive.

Probably one of the highlights for us adults was the Great Minnesota Sing-Along. They basically set up a big karaoke screen, with a bunch of microphones on poles at different heights for anyone to sing in front of. The nice thing is you can sing along without getting up on a stage or something. Here's a short video. Sadly, our kids didn't know the tune, or they'd have sung along better, I think:

At the end of the day, I asked Starling to rate this trip to the fair on a scale of one to ten -- as in, "Gee, that was so much fun, I can't wait to go back to the fair next year!" (a rating of "1") to "If I don't see another pronto pup stand in ten years, it will be too soon" (a rating of "10"). She rated it a "2," so I guess we will be back to the fair in 2013. And then maybe I can have that deep-fried pie.

Our vacation at "the Schoolhouse" on Fish Lake

2011-08-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

This past week we took a much-needed end-of-summer vacation...much needed because of how insanely busy this summer has been, both with work and kids. That's why I, for one, was really looking forward to a few days in a lakeside cottage at the (rather insistent) invitation of a friend of ours. The place is located on a small (half-mile long) lake called Fish Lake near Elysian, Minnesota, in what the Explore Minnesota! people call "the south-central lake country." I did not know Minnesota had a south-central lake country, but if you look at a map, there it is: lots of lakes, all around the Mankato area. This particular place sits on our friend's in-laws ancestral farmstead (well, ancestral to 1850). They moved this one-room country schoolhouse half a mile down the road to their place in 1973 (we saw the newspaper clippings), where for many years it served as a rustic (=no running water, toilet facilities out back, paddles and fishing gear everywhere) retreat for the family. Eventually they sold the land to the famous artist David Maass, winner of the federal duck stamp contest (at least twice). He built a rather large house on a rise above the lake -- all windows to the lake side. Then he decided to move to a larger lake near the Twin Cities, and sold it back to the original owners, who moved into the Maass house and slowly began improving "the Schoolhouse," while retaining much of its original charm and character.

Anyway, I will try to recount our visit pictorially...but before we get to the Schoolhouse, I have to mention the parade we marched in last Sunday.

Starling's contribution to our parish's 100th anniversary celebration was to enter the parish in the annual Goodview Days parade. (Goodview is the little bedroom community next to Winona.) I was pretty skeptical about this, especially since she was doing all the work and for a while it looked like we were going to be the only ones marching in this thing. Fortunately, a few more people turned out:

Bear and Mouse got to hold the sign for much of the route

I tell you, there's a real art to this marching in a parade thing. I was carrying Mudpuppy in a sling for much of the route while pulling a wagon filled with boxes of candy (bought at bulk prices). We assigned the younger kids the job of tossing the candy to the onlookers. This was a mistake. Let's just say they were REALLY enthusiastic and generous in their candy-throwing at the beginning of the parade, leading to us running out of candy (two boxes' worth) halfway through. We also realized belatedly that after walking the route, which was about a mile long, we'd have to walk back to our cars. That's when the bottom really fell out on the little kids. The lucky ones got a ride in the wagons; the others just whined and cried about their feet. But, overall everyone had fun and the whole thing was deemed a success. If we do it again next year, maybe we'll make a float. Or better yet, someone else will make a float, and we can ride in it.

Immediately after the parade, we hopped into the van for the two-hour ride to Fish Lake. We arrived in the early evening, just in time to have a simple supper with our friend and his wife and college-bound daughter at the main house.

We were really impressed by the Schoolhouse. This back entryway is not original to this particular schoolhouse, but was patterned on the wood/coal sheds in the back of similar country schools in the area.

A view of Fish Lake, from the public access about 400 feet
from the Schoolhouse.

As you can see, they really modernized the interior -- it's bed-and-breakfast quality, with modern appliances and lots of cute little touches, including historic pictures of the Schoolhouse on the walls.

Back by the piano, you can see burn marks in the wood floor
where the stove used to be. They keep a guest book, as well
as some books about the history of the place and country
schools in the area -- fun reading.

What used to be the cloak room was turned
into a little office and bedroom; Bear slept here
on a foldout bed (not shown, opposite view).
Behind the curtain is a working toilet. A full
bathroom was available downstairs.

Our friend took us for a ride around the lake in their pontoon boat after supper, and we settled in for the night. We were there for three full days and spent them lazily. The older kids gobbled up the Nancy Drew mysteries they found there -- I think they read six books between them.

One night we built a giant bonfire with the help of our friend;
we cooked s'mores and talked late into the night. Bear burned
his finger pretty bad on one of the marshmallow sticks.

Mudpuppy had his s'mores raw.

The kids went swimming at the public access ramp, and also
off of a pontoon boat that we maneuvered into the deep
water. They wore life jackets the whole time.

Mudpuppy stayed on the boat.

Bear liked jumping in the water on the hottest day
that we were there. You can see why they swam off the
pontoon -- the shoreline was very weedy.

It takes some guts to jump in, considering that this is a cold
spring-fed lake.

Jaybird

I'm sure the kids could have spent the whole afternoon
frolicking in the water, if we'd started earlier, but we waited
until late afternoon to avoid the worst of the sun.

Reading a Nancy Drew mystery.

The last full day that we were there, we tried taking the pontoon boat out in high winds (gusting above 30 mph). That was a bad idea. Good thing Starling came along, because I needed her help the whole time. I had a horrible time getting out from the dock; the wind kept wanting to push us back into the dock, the other boat, or worse, shore. I fought it frantically with a long pole for about ten minutes, not wanting to foul the prop on the thick weeds, but I finally had to give up and use the motor. Even though I took the boat to the end of the lake where the wind was coming from, we had lots of problems staying in one place. We dropped anchor twice, but the wind was so strong, we just drifted more slowly as the anchor dragged on the mucky bottom. In fact, the wind was so strong, it blew away a page from one of the kids' books, and a life preserver that we had to go retrieve. Thanks to Starling's help (and not a few prayers), we managed to return the boat to the dock without causing any further damage.

One of the highlights for the kids was our visit to a place called the Okaman Elk Farm and Petting Zoo. This is a working Elk farm that has slowly expanded to include a petting zoo (rabbits, cats, sheep, miniature horses, donkeys, alpacas, goats), an art museum (mostly filled with art made from antlers), a gift shop, and an old sorghum mill that you can tour. The best way to describe this place would be that its owners apparently have no cares or worries about lawsuits -- to their credit, in our opinion. This meant that, unlike most petting zoos, they actually encouraged the kids to climb into the pens with the animals -- so little Mudpuppy and Jaybird got right up close and personal with the various sheep, donkeys, goats, alpacas, and miniature horses they had on the property. No hand sanitizer on the fence for afterward, either. They also had a trampoline on the premises that the kids spent a long time bouncing on -- no rules or anything posted, just a huge trampoline with a net around it. And the sorghum mill was full of rusty old equipment, and boards falling down, and huge holes in the floor -- which made it all the more interesting.

The kids especially liked the baby goats.

On the trampoline.

This kitty followed me around everywhere.
Cats love people who are allergic to them.

The natural beauty of the area was wonderful to explore. The kids spent a good half hour throwing rocks into the lake one afternoon. Another evening, Mouse and Jaybird gazed up at the stars one night and went, "Wow! This is so awesome! It's just like heaven, minus the mosquitoes!"

Walking down the dirt road toward the big house; the garden
and small barn are on the left there.

Jaybird and Mudpuppy went on a walk down the road with
me one evening.

Bear went rowing for the first time, and found it a bit
challenging to coordinate.

With the help of our hosts, the girls made circlets that they
filled with wildflowers.

One day we went into Mankato because we needed to get our door handle repaired at the Toyota dealership. (Toyota Siennas of a certain age have a nasty tendency to lose their handles.) We made a day of it. After the car repair, we visited the church where our friend works, Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church. This is one of the oldest churches in the area, and one of the most beautiful; they are thinking of applying for basillica status. Our friend gave us a tour of the church, which includes a massive altar with the first-class relics of the five North American Jesuit martyrs, and a first-class relic of Saint Francis Xavier (which I got to hold, in its reliquary, of course). They keep the church open, despite the constant theft and vandalism.

Next, we went to see the Minneopa waterfall in Minneopa State Park, as well as an old German windmill that's on the park grounds. I was disappointed that you can't go in the mill; also, it doesn't have any working, turning arms on it, so it was a bit of a letdown. However, I did hike (by myself) the half-mile through the native prairie that they've established there, and that made the trip worth it.

We left the Schoolhouse early Thursday morning to head up to the Cities, where we visited my mom and made our once-every-ten-years trip to the state fair, which I'll post about next time.

A summer of firsts for Jaybird

2011-08-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

It has been a summer of firsts for the six-year-old in our family. Her top five:

1. Learning to read

This is an ongoing process, but she has definitely made real progress in reading on her own. We're hoping that she will be reading books in bed by Christmas.

2. First lost tooth

She had this loose tooth for MONTHS. In fact, when she went to the dentist before our trip to Alabama, we were convinced that she would lose it there. Nope. It just came out a few weeks ago. And even then, I yanked it out. Jaybird was happy to get a Sacagawea dollar from the tooth fairy.

3. First time riding a bike without training wheels
Sp, several of Jaybird's friends learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, which meant she wanted to learn, too. And NOW.

This led to a funny incident earlier in the summer. After falling off the bike one more time, she stormed into the house. "I hate God!" she announced. (A statement like that will get your attention.) "Je did NOT answer my prayer to ride a bike without training wheels, AND I FELL DOWN!!!"

So much growth in faith is inspired by crisis, no?

After giving her a hug and a little sympathy, we explained that a) God is not your servant, and prayers are not magic; and b) God usually wants us to use our own capabilities to achieve some good, because it is part of our human dignity to do so; and c) maybe God wants you to learn patience and persistence.

To which she crossed her arms, stomped her foot, "hmft'd" and said, "Well, I hate that rule!"

To her credit, she did persist, practicing her riding for up to an hour every day, despite various mishaps. And one day, she was able to announce that she had learned to ride: "I still have a few things to work on, though," she said with a totally straight face, "like braking and not running into trees."

On the day she learned to ride

4. Learning to swim

We covered this in an earlier post, but this has been a continued source of pride for Jaybird. She likes to show off how she can dunk her head under water, jump in the deep end, and paddle around. She even swam in the deep part of Fish Lake during our recent vacation.

5. First fish

We also chronicled this in an earlier video post. For weeks, she had been begging to go fishing, just like her older brother. We finally took her down to the lake, where they rent not only canoes and kayaks, but also fishing poles, for free. She liked catching it, but wouldn't touch it!

So, a summer of firsts. And in a week, she will be entering first grade!

First fish

2011-08-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

After weeks and weeks of begging to go fishing, Jaybird recently went fishing with her brother, me, and a friend from the Catholic Worker who is really big into fishing. Right off the bat, she caught her very first fish:

Funny, she hasn't been asking to go fishing since this outing...

Swimming

2011-08-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

For the most part, this has been a pretty good summer for swimming -- hot and muggy, up until the last couple weeks. We have a membership at the pool, and we use it several times a week. Usually Starling takes the older kids for an hour or two in the afternoons during Mudpuppy's nap. Once in a while, though, we will all go down as a family, like we did last Sunday evening. I like going on Sunday evenings, because the place is virtually empty -- and we don't have to sunscreen all the kids at that hour. That knocks half an hour off our prep time.

Jaybird has taught herself to swim, through sheer dint of will, this summer.
She does what we like to call "not drowning," which is to say
a very basic dogpaddle that will get her to the side of the pool.

She has also taught herself a few floats, and has been experimenting
with diferent styles of strokes.

Relaxing by the pool.

Mudpuppy very cautiously explores the zero-depth portion of the pool.

Mouse enjoys jumping off the diving board in the deep end.

Playing under the "mushroom."

The evening light on the water is nice for these portraits.

Bear sat out the evening reading a good book -- but he has been enjoying
learning new strokes during his advanced swimming lessons.

All of the children, including Mudpuppy, are in swim lessons this week and next. Swimming lessons are a hassle -- as I say, it takes a good half hour to get everyone slathered in sunscreen -- but in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, we like our children not to drown, so we haul them to the pool every summer for lessons. Of course it's been much hotter than usual all summer -- except for this week. On Friday we actually had lessons under cloudy skies with temps in the 60s.

Which wouldn't matter so much to me if it weren't for my being in the water with Mudpuppy for his lesson. When we signed the kids up back in March, I think my reasoning was that I'd prefer to be "playing" in the water with him over chasing him all around the pool and trying to keep him away from the restricted areas. I had envisioned a very laid-back splashing session, but as it turns out, the young instructor is something of a drill sergeant. She says she has more than six years' experience teaching kids this age, not to mention having taught all her cousins to swim, so she has Mudpuppy not only playing with toys in the zero-depth and playing ring-around-the-rosie, but also going in the deep end for front floats and back floats and jumping off the wall and hanging on the wall to kick and sitting on the wall to kick and putting your face in the water to blow bubbles and jumping off the wall and going all the way under, head and all.... Mind you, this is the kid who previously was known for screaming bloody murder when we washed his hair in the tub. Did I mention that we're the only ones in this class? (The early parent-toddler swim class has six toddlers and their parents.) So Mudpuppy does not get a break.

I have to say, though, that the aggressive approach seems to be working. He started off at the beginning of the week being VERY cautious about everything and doing a lot of head-shaking and whining; he's still doing that, but less and less, and he seems more comfortable and relaxed now. His back float is definitely looking better, and he's more relaxed doing it. He doesn't cry when he gets dunked under water -- partly because I immediately follow up by throwing him in the air, which makes him laugh. I also show him how I go under the water a few times before he does it. Unfortunately, he hasn't learned to close his mouth when he goes under. He might want to work on that.

His favorite activity in class is "motor boat" -- getting swished around the water in a front-down or backwards position by the instructor or me. He smiles and laughs and asks for "more, more."

By the end of the half hour, he is usually visibly shaking from being cold, despite wearing a swim shirt. So I scoop him up, he waves bye-bye, and then I wrap him up in a towel and lay him down on a bench to dry him off and change him into dry clothes. He just lays there, very quietly, with his eyes closed and a slight smile on his lips. And eventually, he stops shivering.

The kids were cold on Friday, too, of course. But, as I told them, outdoor swim lessons in Minnesota are 50% about learning to swim, and 50% about learning to Lower Your Expectations, because, to quote The Princess Bride: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Sadly, they don't appreciate my sense of humor.

Sayings of Bear

2011-08-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

Bear said a couple amusing things tonight.

I was moaning that I was getting to old for this whole raising kids thing (it was the end of a long day) when Bear pipes up, "Well, hold onto your horses, 'cause in another eight years you should be guaranteed to have another baby around here." Meaning we'd be grandparents, of course. I shudder to think....

Later, he decided to bravely tackle a home repair that Starling had given up on. The doorknob had fallen out of both sides of the closet door, leaving it stuck closed. Bear spent about twenty minutes working to open it. At one point, Starling said, "You don't have to keep working on that." His response: "Don't worry, Mom! My mistakes are getting smarter!" (He eventually got it open.)

We're still alive! Sort of...

2011-08-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

Why haven't we posted to GraceWatch in a while? Well, it's one of those "busy" times of year again, basically. Along with everything else that's going on, I am frantically trying to pull together our tri-parish faith formation program for the fall, which now also means writing some curriculum. (Long story.) Plus, people have been sick with the crud. Mudpuppy woke up vomiting again today, and Starling has been bed-ridden all day.

Not to fear! I have been snapping pictures and plan a big post about our summer routine sometime soon. In the meantime, here is a cute video of Mudpuppy playing with water on the deck.

Mudpuppy reads a book! and more...

2011-07-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

Sort of.

Starling here. When I was reading to Mudpup this evening, a jaunty board book called "Thank you, God" (which M likes because of the "Amen" refrain throughout), he picked it up, turned it back to the beginning, and turned the pages quickly, saying "Amenamenamenamenamenamenamenamen!" until he reached the end. He then closed it in triumph and grinned. He's read his first book.

He also pointed to his siblings earlier and did reasonable imitations of their real names--Bear's was dead-on, Mouse's was sort of close, and Jaybird's was "Brrroooo." Well, OK, he tried. "Mama" and "Dada" are mastered at this point, as well as more, up, down, book, (ba)nana, cookie (sigh), hug, yes, sit, okay, again, drink, and quite a few more.

Sometime in the past two weeks, he hasn't yet turned chronologically two, but he has gotten into the spirit of the two year old. He's on a constant seek and destroy mission. It's been a bit crazy, especially when we were traveling. But except for the occasional mild tantrum, he is still our smiling, happy go lucky child. Just intent on destruction one day, up in arms the next....

p.s. It is tempting to rename him on this blog, because cute though Mudpuppy is, we actually find ourselves calling him Machu-Pichu quite a bit. I know, it's odd. Don't worry much--he knows his real name, and we like it.

Alabama

2011-07-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a week since we came back from our ten-day trip to visit Starling's parents in Alabama. Sun, water, and good food were the main themes of our trip. Here's a pictorial retrospective:

This and the next three pictures were taken on the beach near Gulf Shores.

Whether at home or away, Mudpuppy DOES love helping with the
dishwasher!

When they weren't out in the sun, the kids could often be found in front
of the television. I love this picture, which is pure luck.

Stopping to smell the roses in the Fairhope rose garden.

Life may not be a bed of roses, but these sisters like posing in front of one.

By the Fairhope water fountains.

At the end of Fairhope Municipal Pier.

We visited two really good museums during our stay; one is the Fairhope
city museum, which contains a great overview of the history of the area....

...and the other was the Museum of Mobile, which also provided a great overview of
the history of the region in an interactive way that the kids liked. Here, they're posing
before a statue of Justice. The kids spent most of the visit looking for items in a
scavenger hunt.

On July 4, the kids enjoyed playing with sparklers...

...and watching the fireworks with grandma and Aunt Amy.

Mudpuppy did NOT like the water at first, but by the end of our trip, he'd
warmed up to it.

This picture is sponsored by Grandma, who watched Mudpuppy at home
for the morning, leaving the adults to enjoy the beach.

Jaybird enjoyed playing in the surf; the older kids loved boogie boarding.

Mudpuppy enjoyed the fountains at Spanish Fort...

...as did the girls.

The Three Amigos, reunited.

"Everybody make a funny face!"

See how well Mudpuppy got to like the water? I think that's a smile!

"Mom has finally lost it." Yes, the wonders of traveling by air have definitely driven
us to the edge, especially on the flight back to Milwaukee. The one bright spot: Daryl,
the upbeat flight attendant who kept everyone smiling and laughing.

A visit to The Willows

2011-07-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

Every year we visit Susan's parents in Alabama at some point over the summer, and this year, we incorporated a visit to my sister and her family, who live just outside of Milwaukee, since we were flying out of the Milwaukee airport anyway (cheaper fares and shorter flight time than Minneapolis). They just moved to a new house in the country; really, it's more like a small mansion or estate, so we came up with a name for it: The Willows, after the stately Weeping Willow trees lining the road in front of their home.

The house is nice, but so are the grounds: several acres that include a small wooded area and rolling fields, plus an expansive lawn, with those willows lining the front. There is a small storage building next to the house. They are on a dead-end road, so there's not much traffic. At the end of the road, walking trails lead to the neighboring dairy barn and to the Schoenstatt shrine and retreat center; they are friendly with allof the nuns at the Schoenstatt shrine, as well as with the family that owns the dairy farm. In fact, when we arrived, they were nowhere to be found -- they were down in the dairy barn, watching the cows get milked.

Jaybird was too late to see the cows milked, but liked watching them in the field:

Later in the evening, they roasted marshmallows around the fire pit and had s'mores. The fireflies came out, making the whole scene rather magical. Mouse played on the rope swings in the willow trees until almost 9:30, while Bear and his cousins played basketball; then they all got together and played Indians.

Bear really connected with the boy cousins.

Mouse (left) and her cousins during an outing to a nearby wildlife area.

All the cousins together.

Mouse's older cousins took her under their wings for the few days
we were there, and Jaybird connected with a cousin her age.

Our kids really enjoyed seeing and playing with their cousins. Bear spent an entire afternoon making and shooting bows and arrows with a cousin his age, while Mouse spent the same afternoon hanging decorations (like Mason jars filled with colored water and bells and lights) all over the woods behind the house with her older cousins. (Both of the older cousins have blogs: The B and B Files and The Swan and the Willows.)

Besides visiting the Schoenstatt retreat center, where my sister knew all of the nuns (of course!), we also took a nice walk through an area wildlife refuge. But one of the highlights for me was playing basketball with Bear and a number of his cousins. We had such fun that eventually my sister and her husband joined us. Good, sweaty fun!

Someday we hope to return...to The Willows.

Mouse's friends party

2011-07-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

At our house, we do not have friends over for birthday celebrations. Early on we learned that there is no way to invite people over for your child's birthday celebration without getting lots of gifts -- you can say "no gifts," but someone always brings'em anyway. So instead, we wait a few months and have a friends party.

The girls after breakfast the next morning.

Mouse really wanted a pool party so she and her friends could pretend to be mermaids. That seemed simple enough: just pile the kids into the van and take them ot the outdoor Aquatic Center for a few hours, then back home for supper.

Well, wouldn't you know it, after a very warm few weeks earlier in June, the day of the party was forecast to have a high in the 50s, with rain and high winds. Starling and I spent the twenty-four hours before the party trying to figure out an alternative setting for the pool party. (Postponing wasn't an option, since one of the girls is moving to China in July.) You know, there are something like nine indoor swimming pools in this town, but accessing any of them is either impossible or prohibitively expensive ($100+ for a hotel room).

So we went on Facebook to fish for suggestions, and we got one that worked -- a hotel in Rochester with a small indoor waterpark that you could get into for a reasonable price. Sure, it was an hour away. Sure, it cost more than we planned to spend. But the mermaid party was saved! All the girls had a fun and memorable time.

Bear turns 11

2011-07-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from Bear's birthday party:

As you can see, there was much silliness, and cake, and a few presents.

We enjoy having an 11-year-old in the house. Bear has not lost his quick smile and laugh, but now he has a pre-teen's wry sense of humor to go along with it. He is as kind and generous as ever (well, except on occasion with his sisters). He is introspective and asks a lot of good questions. He is also trying out more adult roles -- like jumping into adult conversations. Sometimes that turns out fine, sometimes not. The other day he spent an afternoon volunteering at the Winona Catholic Worker -- scrubbing shelves in the pantry at the Dan Corcoran House, which we hope to reopen to families in the fall. I also see a new patience and maturity in him when it comes to doing things that he doesn't like to do, like chores and summer homework. A lot less complaining and foot-dragging, and a lot more can-do attitude.

Bear is also our entrepreneur. He is still looking for ways to make money, driven largely by his voracious appetite for new electronic gadgets and games. He is not shy about asking to be paid for extra work, or hitting up other adults for ideas about how he can make money. We'll have to see how to encourage him on that path. Someone around here needs to make some money!

We do love our eleven-year-old!

Fun at camp!

2011-06-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

The three older kids spent last week at their respective camps: Bear at a Lego Mindstorms camp, Jaybird and Mouse at a Fillies and Foals horseback riding camp. All three kids just loved their time at camp.

Bear spent the week building robots out of a super-advanced Lego kit that included various motors and sensors and other robotic parts. They designed their own robots, then hooked them up to a laptop to program them.

Really, what more could a boy ask for???

Bear holds one of his creations, which he's
going to hook up to a laptop.

The girls were head-over-heels crazy-wild about horse camp. Well, not literally head over heels, fortunately. But they sure loved their horses! Mouse rode a horse named Katie, and Jaybird rode one named Marshmallow -- a cute miniature horse that I think made the whole thing do-able for her.

We actually weren't going to send Jaybird, because she has such severe separation anxiety that we anticipated signing her up, paying a small fortune, then having to drag her there every morning. But the class was small -- three girls, including Jaybird and Mouse, and the third was a dear friend of Mouse's whom Jaybird knew as well. I actually decided to sign her up on the spot the day I first dropped them off.

It turned out to be a good decision, since Jaybird loved it so much. I think it was a real confidence-booster for her. She went from not speaking at all on the first day to speaking with the staff and riding her little horse all over the arena on her own on the last day. She just glowed with pride! (See the video.)

The only downside to all this was that it rained on the second to the last day, leaving the trails too muddy and wet to do the long trail ride they had been promised at the beginning of the camp. Mouse in particular was in tears over that for days. She still gets a long face when the subject comes up. She has changed her mind about what to be when she grows up: She now wants to be a horsewoman. And a mermaid.

Hopefully, we will get her out on the trail sometime this summer -- she is going to another camp later in the summer (generously paid for by the grandparents of her friend, who moved to the Twin Cities but is visiting for this camp), and supposedly her Girl Scout group is going on a trail ride (although we have yet to hear word about when).

In the meantime, she plays a lot of Pony Trail on her Nintendo DS. :)

The girls had to muck out stalls as part of their camp, which
is good. Jaybird insisted that I take a picture! I asked the
instructors whether the girls could take their manure rakes
home for the purpose of cleaning out their room, har har.

How green does your garden grow?

2011-06-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

After all the work I did relocating those garden beds, and making new ones, I'm happy to report that things are generally coming along very well in our little garden. We planted a whole bed of lettuce -- no need to worry about cutting lots of it for salads. There is truly nothing better than eating a salad of buttercrunch lettuce, red leaf lettuce, parsley, and chives that you just cut ten minutes ago. Too bad all the lettuce is shot by the time the tomatoes come in.

Here is the lettuce bed. Peppers and radishes
are in the far part of the bed; lettuce in the
foreground. Peas will grow up the trellis
netting.

A closeup of the lettuce, with a nice view of the peas.
You can't see them, but I interplanted carrots. By the time
the lettuce is done, the carrots should be nice and tall.

And here are those radishes; we grew a mix of different kinds.

We have about fifteen tomato plants, so I am hoping for a bumper crop this year. I grew them from seed. Unfortunately, I'd labeled what types they were by row, on the outside of the tray, so that when I moved them around, I lost track of which plant was which. Oh well, should be very surprising when they all come up!

The berries -- the strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries -- are all running several weeks behind. We will have no apples this year. Apparently the Macoun, which bore heavily last year, alternates between heavy crops and light crops. This year we didn't even get flowers, which may be why the Golden Crisp isn't producing any fruit either (lack of pollination). Oh well. Better luck next year.

We have some additions: I brought home a grape vine that is supposed to be excellent -- super sweet grapes developed for Minnesota. I also bought a Northland cherry tree.

I do like my fruit. :)

Bear writes for Gracewatch!

2011-06-20T20:25:00.001-07:00

Hello, this is Bear. Mudpuppy has found a sudden spurt in his way of talking. One of his favorite words (as of now) is okay. A conversation would go like this: “Mudpuppy, do you want to swing?” “Swing!” “Say up, mudpuppy!” “Up!” “If you want swing say okay!” “Okay!” “Okay, swing!” (End) If you would say okay to him, then he would say it after you, quite clearly.

Another thing is that Jaybird and I have enlisted in the summer library program. Jaybird is still in level 1, but I am in level 3. We have only been to the library 2 times as of now, so that’s why I haven’t passed already. Mouse hasn’t signed up for the summer library program, sadly.

(Good using the fake names, Bear!)

Last day of school

2011-06-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Mouse and her friends, all members of the apparently notorious "Ant Club."

Mouse and her teachers: Ms. Carol (teacher's assistant) and Mr. Jason, who
substituted for Ms. Ellings during her maternity leave.

Mouse with her beloved Ms. Ellings.

Bear with his teacher, Ms. Wrobleski.

Jaybird and Mr. Eric.

Jaybird and Ms. Heather (teacher's assistant).

We had two children “bridging” on the last day of school (June 8): Jaybird is moving from Children’s House to E1, and Mouse is moving from E1 to E2. (For the uninitiated, in the Montessori method, children stay in the same classroom for three years at a time.)

That meant a real marathon for Mom and Dad and little Mudpuppy. We arrived at school at 9:30 for Jaybird’s bridging ceremony, stayed for cake and then a picnic in Mouse’s classroom, then stayed for Mouse’s bridging ceremony. We got out of there around 1 pm—long past Mudpuppy’s nap time. He held up pretty well, considering!

It was a TEARFUL day. Some of the children bridging from Children’s House to E1 cried, and that made their teachers cry, and that made everyone in the audience cry. Jaybird did not cry, although she said she ALMOST did.

They keep the Children’s House bridging ceremony very simple: there are no speeches from the teachers, no preamble of any kind, other than a short concert of songs that the children have learned during their years in Children’s House (“Days of the Week,” “Seven Continents,” etc.). Each child is called to the front by their teacher, who says a few words about all the child has accomplished during her time in Children’s House. Then the child receives a spider plant, which she carries over a bridge on the stage; on the other side of the bridge, she is greeted by the E1 teachers.

Mr. Eric, Jaybird’s teacher for the past three years, had some very kind words to say. “You have grown so much in your skills and confidence,” he said. “You are a graceful person, always kind to the little ones.” And always responsible and respectable. “I will not forgot how much you learned about friends. A lot of people want to be your friend; you should continue that in E1.”

After the Children’s House bridging, we went to a pizza picnic in Mouse’s classroom. The kids, including Mouse, were WIRED. Eating lunch on the classroom floor with her, plus Mudpuppy (who naturally wanted to explore), plus Jaybird, was a challenge.

The students had spent the morning making friendship bracelets for the departing third year children; all the third years also received laminated sheets with comments, compliments, and farewell messages from all their classmates and teachers. Mouse just glowed over that.

Mouse’s bridging ceremony was a little different than Jaybird’s; each student was paired up with another student in the class who said something nice about the bridging student; then each student walked across the bridge (with a lot more confidence and poise than we saw in the Children’s House kids!).

The real drama began after the bridging ceremony, when it was time to say goodbye. I went to get Mouse in her classroom and told her it was time to go, and she just bent her head and began weeping, obviously trying to hide it. Several of her classmates saw her and came over and gave her hugs and said goodbye, which made her cry even harder. Her teachers also came over and gave her hugs, and we managed to get a few pictures of her with them.

The floodgates really opened when we got home, though. She cried off and on for two days, especially in the evenings! She is really devastated that her close-knit group of friends is breaking up. One is leaving for another school; another is moving to China; and another will be staying in the same school, but with only a one in three chance of being in the same classroom. She will also have new teachers next year, and she really loves the ones she has had.

We tried to console her with an ice cream treat at the Lakeview, to no avail.

Kind of a warm-up for things to come, hmm???

Bear’s end of year story is pretty straightforward: he’s glad to be done, and sorry his teacher won’t be returning next year.

Here is a short video of Jaybird's bridging ceremony. There is lots of background noise due to the 30+ preschoolers in the room.

The yard sale of DOOM!

2011-06-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

As those of you who read the "Attack of the Killer Plastic Toys" post know, we have been on a quest to rid ourselves of much of the junk we're drowning in, beginning with the Killer Plastic Toys.

We started out by spending the past few weeks sorting all our toys -- well, the ones we could hunt down, at least. That fun and exciting task took about 20 hours, give or take five hours. In the process, I threw away about five kitchen garbage bags' worth of broken toys, toys with missing pieces, etc.

Last weekend, it was time for Phase Two of our grand plan: a yard sale that would simultaneously relieve us of the burden of our superfluous things, ease our conscience by giving them to new homes rather than throwing them out, and raise money toward adoption expenses.

This epic event is going down in our family history as the Yard Sale of DOOM. It killed four days, between the set up, the actual sale, and the cleanup and redistribution of the remains. It nearly killed us, too, given that it was HOT (what, 90s, both days?) and that we were doing tons of hauling boxes back and forth. And it ended up not making that much money in the end. The words, "Never again!" have passed several lips.

See? Even Jesus is sad. He is thinking: "If only these people would have listened to the whole 'Blessed are the poor' thing...."

On the upside, we had fun interacting with neighbors and customers, made some pocket change, and ended up getting rid of almost everything (by donating the remains, not through the sale). Besides what we sold, we gave away seven big bags of clothing and about ten large plastic totes of toys, not including some large toys we got rid of. (The guy at the loading dock at Grace Place raised an eyebrow and tactfully commented, "Gee, your kids sure have a lot of toys," after the fifth box.) Lest anyone think us cruel, I would just point out that the kids' shelves and bedrooms are still overflowing with toy options.

Oh, and the kids acquired four new toys on Saturday, the same day we were busy getting rid of stuff in the yard sale -- two through McD "Happy Meals" (I forgot to say no toys), one as a belated birthday gift to Jaybird from our neighbor, and one from a treat sack that Mouse received at a birthday party she was attending.

Next up: "The Closets of Chaos" and "The Basement of Fatal Death." Stay tuned!

Things Mudpuppy can do now

2011-06-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

1. Eat strawberries on the front steps!

2. Say "car" and "down" and "more" and "please" and "outside" (the last two not so well that anyone else would recognize it)!

3. Climb up steps, and back down again!

4. Get bread out of the oven! (We don't let him, but when he hears the timer beep, he toddles into the kitchen, grabs the oven mitts, and peers into the oven door.)

5. Go to sleep by himself!

6. Give hugs and kisses!

7. Unload a grocery cart, clapping after each item lands with a thump!

8. Walk confidently through a store, all by himself!

9. Get into a line with his classmates when the bell rings!

10. Pretend to read while turning pages in a book!

11. Use the toilet by himself!

(One of these things isn't true...can you guess which one???)

Yummy for the tummy!

2011-06-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

This was the scene at the Lakeview Drive-In during the ride around the lake that Jaybird and I went on last Sunday. The other kids wanted to stay home, so we splurged on a banana split.

Quote of the day:

"Dad, why don't you go get us some napkins, and I'll just stay here and keep an eye on this ice cream?"

Memorial Day

2011-06-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

On Memorial Day, we went up to the Saint Mary's University campus and did a May Day "crowning" (in quotes because obviously we couldn't get to the statue to crown her). We prayed the Angelus with the kids: ". . . And the Word was made Flesh: And dwelt among us...." And we prayed for peace.

As anyone who has read this blog for a while knows, we have a very ambivalent attitude toward these "military" holidays. On the one hand, we have family and close friends who have volunteered with the military, and we know many good people in the military. It does seem appropriate to honor the sacrifices they make for the sake of the good.

On the other hand, we are mindful that the Church has always taught that war has no place in the kingdom of heaven, that it is always a failure of humanity. And we are aware that, too often, our military has been involved in actions that can only be described as horrific; the indiscriminate firebombing of whole cities comes to mind as deserving condemnation. More recently, we read this L.A. Times minute-by-minute analysis of how a U.S. Predator drone killed 23 civilians, including two small children, in Afghanistan. More disturbing than the civilian deaths (thousands have been "collateral damage" in the past ten years) is the attitude of the drone team as revealed by transcripts of their chatter, which can only be described as sickening: their enthusiasm for killing their "targets," their mockery of the civilians' prayers by the side of the road, their resentment at cautionary suggestions that some of the targets may have been kids. Their cavalier attitude upon learning that their targets were civilians, including women and children, reminds me of the kind of black humor and self-excusing talk that we're told is common in abortion clinics. It's another example of why resorting to violence as a solution to social problems ultimately hurts us more than it hurts our victims.

Later that evening, we went to the Winona Catholic Worker, which is usually host to a handful of veterans -- some of them homeless, others hungry for food or conversation. We heard that earlier that day -- at about the same time that we were doing our May crowning -- the workers were getting cursed out by an angry veteran dressed in his uniform, complete with various medals; he had apparently come straight from one of the many Memorial Day ceremonies around town. He was angry with the Catholic Worker volunteers because they'd just told him they didn't have a bed for him that night.

Perhaps I would feel less ambivalent about these military holidays if we said fewer words around stone memorials during services that conflate respect for our veterans with a subtle endorsement of the wars we send them to fight. Perhaps I would feel more warmly toward Memorial Day if we truly remembered our veterans -- beginning with the ones who need food, shelter, and someone to listen to their stories.

Story of a birthday celebrationGue

2011-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

Guess whose birthday it is? (Art by Mouse.)

If you guessed the person holding the fork, you'd be
CORRECT!

Must have cake! (This cake, which included several
cups of chocolate chips and a cup of sour cream, was so
rich that even I couldn't finish a whole piece.)

Mudpuppy, however, has no such difficulties.
Just not a lot of hand-eye coordination.

No birthday celebration is complete without gifts!

May Display Day

2011-05-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

Every May, the elementary classrooms at Bluffview have "May Display Day": the kids work on some sort of research project, and then prepare a presentation on their topic. Every kid has a booth and all the parents come and walk around the classrooms, seeing the different presentations.

This year, Bear did a presentation on the ancient Greeks; he had a model Parthenon, along with a very good (and funny) prepared speech about the ancient Greeks. Other kids in the upper elementary classrooms did presentations on tornadoes, the Kennedys, Judy Garland, and the Egyptian gods, to name a few.

Here are Mouse and her good friend displaying the book they created. It's a collection of stories about Little Ant, a character they created with a third friend way back in first grade during a creative writing exercise. We've been hearing about Little Ant ever since -- as has the rest of the classroom. Mouse and her two friends formed "the Ant Club" and wrote dozens and dozens of stories about Little Ant and his family and sidekicks (including Uncle Larry). Little Ant has become something of a legend in this classroom; they even got their classmates to write little reviews on the back cover ("fantastic-ant!"). Alas, the book is going to be a gift to their teacher's newborn twins.

And here is Mudpuppy, displaying his agility with stacking blocks.

Caption contest

2011-05-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

OK, what's your caption for this picture?

The third annual neighborhood party

2011-05-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

We had our third annual Mill Street neighborhood party tonight. It was a close call for a while, since we were under a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch right up until the hour of the party. We almost cancelled, but were rewarded for our optimism with a stunningly beautiful evening.

It's a bit of work to pull this together every year -- but really, not too much, considering the huge payoffs. Once again, we got to meet neighbors who we haven't met before, and reconnect with neighbors we only see at this event. Once again, we got lots and lots of compliments and thanks for pulling the event together. Those of us who organized responded that we thought it was in our self-interest -- neighbors who connect with one another are safer and stronger. And we like having everyone in the neighborhood know who our kids are.

I highly recommend organizing a neighborhood party of your own. It took us maybe twenty hours -- divided four ways among those of us who organized it. Here's a quick rundown of how to do it the way we do it (yours could be less elaborate):

First off, I think it's critical to get a little team together. We had five people on our team. Working on this with a few of your neighbors makes for less work, broadens your ability to draw in other neighbors, and hey, if no one else shows up, at least you won't be eating hotdish all by yourself.
Define your neighborhood. Ours has some clear boundaries (major streets, a park). If you're doing it to make your kids safer, then your neighborhood might be wherever you expect your children to be wandering on their own. (If you have older kids who are allowed to walk a few blocks by themselves, that is.)
Choose a date. We wanted a spring party so that all the neighbors would get to know our kids again before summertime; also, you're not dealing with wasps in the spring. We chose the weekend before Memorial Day, since we figured people were less likely to be travelling then. We also chose a Sunday evening, on the theory that people come home from weekend trips by then. In our case, the availability of the band plays into the choice of a date.
Get permission to block off a street. In Winona, you do this by contacting the city clerk and asking her to put it on the city council's consent agenda. Unless you're asking to block a major thoroughfare, your request is likely to be approved without discussion. In Winona, you have to do this at least a month before your party, because the city council meets every two weeks. If you can't block off the road, choose someone's backyard or a nearby park.
Call the fire department and ask them to send a fire truck. In Winona, this is a pretty straightforward phone call; they mark it on the calendar, and if a crew is free, they'll come in a shiny truck -- and maybe spray the kids with water. Be sure to offer them food.
Call the police department and ask them to send their community liaison officer; this is the guy who gets to know people and talks to the kids. In Winona, this would be Kevin Kearny -- a super nice guy.
Call the park and recreation office. In Winona, they'll send a couple of college-aged, well-trained park and rec staffers to organize games for the kids. This has been a huge hit for us! And -- it's free! Why is all this stuff free? The city -- and the police department -- knows that these events make for safer, stronger communities.
If you're booking a band, get in touch with them to arrange a date and a fee. We're lucky to have connections with a fine folk/bluegrass band that plays for three hours for $150. The live band definitely adds a little class to the event, and we use their sound system for announcements. Or you could just play recorded music over a boom box.
Make up half-sheet flyers advertising the event and distribute them to all the houses in the neighborhood. We divided up this task by street so no one had to do them all. The first year, we made sure to make a personal contact; this year, we slipped them inside doors. We distribute these as a sort of save the date notice, about a month in advance. We include the time, location, the various activities, the fact that it's pot luck and that they need to bring their own lawn chairs, and a request for donations to cover the expenses.
Solicit door prizes from local businesses. In the past, we've gotten gift certificates from area businesses; this time, we bought mini ice cream cone tokens from Lakeview Drive-in to give away to anyone who completed our icebreaker activity.
Design an icebreaker activity! In our case, we do human bingo. This basically requires people to go around asking one another the various questions on the bingo sheet; if they can answer positively, they sign the sheet with their name. It's an excellent excuse for people to start up a conversation with people they don't know -- and the kids really get into it, which means they meet lots of our neighbors.
Gather supplies. In our case, we gather tables from a variety of nearby neighbors. We ask people to bring their own lawn chairs, dinnerware, a dish to pass, and a donation. We also supply paper plates, plastic utensils (for people who forget their own), sweet tea (bought by the gallon from the store or donated from a local coffee shop), and garbage cans. We also set up a registration table where people get nametags, fill out information for a neighborhood directory, and collect the human bingo sheet.
Have fun!

Mudpuppy loved toddling all over the place -- despite
falling off the high curb flat on his face at one point.
Scared all the adults around, but he didn't even get
a scratch.

The family, with a friend (the little girl at the left).

The tennis champion

2011-05-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

Lately, Bear and I have been playing tennis -- and he is surprisingly good, despite some really bad technique. He hustles and has pretty good aim, considering his lack of experience. At first I went easy on him, but I've been finding it necessary to ramp it up a little bit. Should be a fun pastime, if he keeps practicing.

Dandelion bouquets

2011-05-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

Jaybird and her friend.

Lately, Jaybird has been on a tear about making dandelion bouquets. She collects them wherever she goes, and hands them to us to put in water immediately, which we do. Within a day they close up and we throw them out, but there's always more where those came from . . . yes, there's always more. . . .

A better look at Jaybird's sundress, which she wore at
Easter, despite the fact that it was freezing!

The new garden setup

2011-05-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

I've been extra-busy gardening and landscaping this spring for some reason (maybe the long winter? the "break" we took from gardening last year?). So far, I've pulled out three large, overgrown, broken bushes from the front and side of the house, moved two other large evergreen bushes to the front of the house (to replace the two that were removed), moved all our raised beds, moved the playset to accommodate the new beds, built three new raised beds, moved a raspberry patch and a strawberry patch, created a new flower garden next to the deck (which includes a honeysuckle vine), sown nasturtiums and morning glories and moonflowers everywhere, and completely torn up the weedy, messy landscaping in the front of the house in order to make something more orderly out of it. Also, I built a canopy cover for the sandbox to shade it (since Mudpuppy loves playing in it so much) and repaired a broken gate to prevent Mr. Toddler from realizing his ambitions to kill himself on Sarnia Street.

The resulting layout for our vegetable garden will allow me to water the entire garden with just three soaker hoses. Also, it moves the whole garden into the sunnier part of the lawn, which should improve production:

The L-shaped bed contains tomato plants; the straight bed in the foreground
contains tomatoes, basil, cantaloupe, peas, and cucumbers; the straight bed
in the background contains lettuce and other greens, carrots, peppers. radishes,
and sugar snap peas. The space between the two large bushes is the new
flower garden. You can barely see the new sandbox canopy right in front
of our neighbor's deck.

Jaybird planting peas with a friend.

Time together

2011-05-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Reading Knuffle Bunny Free before bedtime.

Hanging out with Mouse.

The goof.

So what is up with that adoption thing, anyway?

2011-05-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since we brought up the adoption...which may leave you wondering whether we're still pursuing it, and if so, what is going on?

This is going to be very simple: Yes, we're still pursuing the adoption. What is going on? We're waiting for the sale of one of our websites to go through so we will have the money we need to clear some small debts and pay for the home study. The president of a major publishing company told us they were going to submit a bid...two and a half weeks ago. Heard from them again last Friday that they're still interested, and still planning on submitting that bid, but nothing since.

So, if you want to lob a few prayers our way, you can pray that that situation resolves itself one way or another.

As you can imagine, the suspense is frustrating. On the upside, I'm getting lots of much-needed practice in patience.

More updates once something interesting happens.

Things Mudpuppy Can Do

2011-05-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Walking! Mudpuppy is loving walking now. Here, he's walking all the way down the block from the Dan Corcoran House to the Bethany House. Took about ten minutes, but he didn't want to stop -- threw a bit of a fit when we brought him in. He has also been walking through the grocery store; he is pretty good about not touching things when I say, "Stop!"

Now that the weather is finally warmer, he has also enjoyed walking all through the yard, exploring different things. A lot of times he just seems focused on walking, though -- he likes going up and down steps, and trying out different surfaces. Walking across our very uneven lawn is quite an accomplishment for him.

"Hmm...now that you ask, I'm really not sure what the meaning of life is!"

Smiling! Sorry to bring this up again, but we get MORE COMMENTS on his smiley-ness -- it's really remarkable. Everywhere we go, people comment on it.

Mouse, the Girl Scout

2011-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

Mouse participated in a bridging ceremony the other night -- she's now a "Girl Scout Junior"! She has enjoyed earning the badges and playing with her best friend, who is also in Scouts.

Attack of the Killer Plastic Toys

2011-05-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

So, in our Early Childhood Family Education class this term, we've been talking about the effects that a child's environment has on his or her development and behavior -- and more specifically, the fact that most American children have WAY more toys than they even know what to do with. Supposedly, the average U.S. child consumes more than 70 toys a year. What happens when kids have that many toys? For one thing, they tend to be so overwhelmed that they don't play with any of them -- there's simply too much to choose from. For another, they have very little respect or appreciation of any of their toys (or, for that matter, any of the other material things in the house). For another, they tend to develop certain expectations, habits, or attitudes about the availability of material goods and their entitlement to those goods.

Check, check, and check.

Plus, having so many toys around creates a cluttered house that drives the parents bananas. One of the more amazing (negative) things about parenting is how much time I spend just managing the kids' stuff. And when it's stuff that they don't really play with, it's all the more frustrating.

Since most families think that they don't have a toy problem, ECFE suggests this exercise: Imagine putting all your toys in a pile in your living room. How much space do they occupy? For most families, it would be very difficult to fit everything onto a 9 x 13 area rug.

Intrigued by this question, last Saturday I decided to do a real world experiment. I announced that for their chore, the kids had to bring every single toy in the house to the 9 x 13 area rug in our living room. They responded with surprising enthusiasm. (We're also planning a garage sale, so this had a practical aspect to it, too.) After more than an hour and a half of hauling toys into the living room, here was the result:

As you can see, the toys spilled off of the rug onto the couches and the
rest of the floor...

...plus onto the dining room table, and the writing desk (background).

Another perspective on the main pile. Notice the empty shelves in the playroom.

The resulting mess did not include any of their many outdoor toys, nor the big doll house in the girls' bedroom (too big to move downstairs for this exercise), nor the art supplies and knick-knacks inside the desk, nor four bookcases full of children's books. Plus, we kept finding toys around the house even after this was taken.

What to do? Well, according to the book that we're drawing from in ECFE, our goal should be to get rid of three-fourths of those toys. Here's some criteria they suggest for culling toys:

If it's broken or missing pieces, it goes in the trash. No, you're never going to get around to fixing it or replacing the missing pieces -- that's just a fantasy. So get rid of it now rather than years from now.
If it's no longer developmentally appropriate (e.g., baby toys in a household where the youngest child is five), get rid of it.
If it's a toy that your child observes rather than actively plays with (think of all those toys that make noise and light up), get rid of it.
If it's offensive or destructive, get rid of it (Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers are the bane of every kindergarten classroom).
If it's designed in such a way as to offer a very limited range of play possibilities, get rid of it.

Still got too many toys? Divide the pile in half. Throw away one half. Divide the remaining pile in half again. Give away one half. Divide the resulting pile in half again. Put one half in storage.

It sounds radical, but the research -- and anecdotes I've heard from other parents -- support the idea that kids do better with a few high quality toys. Sure, they'll want more -- that's human nature, to always want more. We're born with that God-sized hole, right? But the truth is that nothing will ever fill that hole in a permanent, satisfying way (except God, of course). Not getting everything they want helps children develop self-discipline, and helps to retard the illusion that happiness lies in having rather than being.

Are we going to go all the way on this? Nope. But my goal is to get rid of half of our toys -- accumulated over the course of ten years, after all -- and put half of the remainder in storage, to be rotated out occasionally.

I have to admit that this is very, very hard for me. Harder for me than for the kids, actually. With some of the toys, it's that in my head I'm still living in the moment where each child received the particular toy -- that moment of happiness and delight. Getting rid of the toy feels like taking it out of the hands of that happy child.

But what I am finding is that, more often than not, the kids are pretty sanguine about getting rid of toys that they absolutely cherished at one point.

The other difficult layer on this is the waste. I think of how muchg money we (and our friends and relatives) spent on these toys. Our pile of toys probably cost something like $3,000 - $7,000 originally. It makes me wince to throw away a $20 toy, even if it's broken in a way that renders it unusable (and it's unrepairable, to boot). Plus there's the thought of the many children out there in the world who would find great pleasure even in a broken toy. I think of the kids in our friends' orphanage in Paraguay, for example. And then there's the environmental aspect: so much of what they have is cheap plastic you-know-what that gets played with for a few moments before being tossed into a landfill (McDonald's toy, anyone?).

No, we don't intend to eliminate toys from the kids' birthdays and Christmas celebrations. But going forward, I hope we can focus more on providing the kids with special experiences to mark those celebrations, and be more picky about what toys come into the house -- and how many.

'Cause given how many hours we've put into sorting and tossing this week (and the pile's only half gone!), I sure don't want to be repeating this in ten years!

You know it's spring when...

2011-05-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

...your oldest children spend more than an hour contentedly building and flooding sand castles in the sand box. By the end of the summer, the sand box will be a no-man's land.

Mouse learns to paint!

2011-05-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

For her birthday, we set up Mouse to take art "lessons" with a local artist who attends our parish, Julia Crozier. I put lessons in quotes because it's really more informal than that. So this past Tuesday, I took Mouse down to Blue Heron Gallery, where she spent two happy hours learning about professional water coloring; she also drew a very nice picture of some chicks hatching from eggs on a black background, I think using pastels. Anyway, Julia taught her a few basic water coloring techniques -- like the difference between a dry wash and a wet wash, overlayering, how not to overwork the paint, etc., and Mouse got a very good start on a painting of a frozen pond.

She'll reconnect for more sessions with Julia in a month or so (Julia is going out of town for a while). Not sure where this will lead for mouse, but at least for the time being, she's having fun exploring an interest of hers. She gets out her paper and pencil sketch book and practices almost every day!

From home to Rome and back again

2011-05-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

Many of you are already aware of Starling's surprise trip to Rome to attend the Vatican's first meeting for Catholic bloggers. She was one of 150 bloggers attending from around the world, and one of just about 13-14 Americans.

If you're not familiar with this story, you can read all about it at her blog, The Ironic Catholic. (Of which one of the meeting organizers said, "That blog made me laugh out loud!" And an Italian cardinal attending the meeting pointed and laughed every time he saw Starling, chuckling, "Ironic Catholic! Heh, heh, heh!" -- in an Italian accent, of course.) The basics are this: About a month ago, Starling found out that the Vatican's Pontifical Council for Social Communication was going to sponsor a meeting of bloggers around the time of the beatification of John Paul II, and was accepting applications. On a lark, and at my encouragement, she applied -- never imagining it would actually come together. But then, there she was -- number 141 on a list that included such heavyweights as Catholic News Service, First Things, etc. After she finished screaming, she realized that there was no way she could go -- flights cost well over $1,200, rooms were scarcer than hen's teeth, and the thing was right smack dab in the middle of the end of the semester craziness (review days, events, finals, etc.). So she e-mailed them to say she couldn't go.

Well, ha ha on her, 'cause I said a few prayers, and apparently God had other plans. Either that or a lot of things just happened to fall into place very nicely. Her department head and the president of the school went to bat for her, offering to cover the cost of the trip. Her readers raised more than $400 in less than four hours. People from her department offered to cover classes for her. She'd lost her passport ten years ago, but was able to get one expedited in time for the trip. Every objection she had evaporated.

And that's how she went to Rome last weekend for the beatification of John Paul II and the blogger meeting. I will let her describe the details of the trip -- probably after she is done with classes and grades. I will just say that I was extremely heartened to hear that the issue of anti-evangelization was addressed -- that's my term of art for Catholic bloggers who use sarcasm, meanness, and hateful remarks to attack other Catholics who they view as not being sufficiently orthodox (or, in some cases, not sufficiently liturgically correct according to their own personal tastes). It's sad, because they're trying to advance their opinion in a way that shows they've completely missed the most important moral doctrine of Christianity -- that whole love your neighbor/enemy thing.

Anyway, here are a few tantalizing pictures.

These huge cubes were everywhere, displaying pictures from
John Paul II's papacy.

The crowd in Saint Peter's Square.

The room where the bloggers' meeting was held.

Starling with some famous blogger who I don't know.

Part of the crowd during the beatification.

More of the beatification crowd.

Starling offering proof of her real presence in Rome.

Back at the ranch, the kids and I stayed with my mom, and spent
an afternoon at the science museum with my brother and his daughter,
pictured here with Jaybird in the tugboat overlooking the Mississippi River

The youngest kids really missed Mom! They got to see her
again for the first time the morning after she returned home.

Another happy reunion picture.

And finally, this brief video snippet gives the smallest hint of how it felt to be in the crowd of more than one million people during the beatification:

Katy Smith, teacher of the year

2011-05-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

We have lots of family news to report, but I have a small window of opportunity to post (nap time is over soon), so I'm going to post about how this year's Minnesota Teacher of the Year is our very own Katy Smith, family educator in our weekly ECFE classes for the past nine years and a good friend, too. I wrote a letter of recommendation for Katy (below) and edited her portfolio.

This blog is called GraceWatch, and it occurs to me that I have seen Katy act as a "minister of grace" for more than one family over the years. Perhaps the most poignant time was in the wake of the death of Brianna, the daughter of my former boss and her very good friends. She was right there with the family in the receiving line at the wake. More frequently, I have seen her help a mom who is caught in the pits of despair and hopelessness find her way to a better place. I also know how much unseen, unsung work she does behind the scenes. She was one of the people who showed up, unsolicited, to help Starling with the fundraiser for Anthony last fall. She also came over to hold my sister's baby while I took a shower one night in the wake of my sister's heart attack.

I talked to Katy today and apparently it's been a whirlwind ever since she won -- she's been getting calls and media requests nonstop. What's really funny is that in at least two instances, she wound up doing an informal, on-the-=spot parent ed session with the reporters! ("My two-year-old keeps saying 'no' all the time -- why is that?" asked a cameraman.) Apparently the rep from Education Minnesota asked, "Is this going to happen all the time now?" Answer: Probably!

Here is the very funny announcement of her winning the Teacher of the Year award. The people screaming over the announcement are all friends/acquaintances of ours through ECFE:

As Teacher of the Year, Katy gets quite a few nifty prizes: cash, an iPad, trips to various places (Harvard! Space Camp! The White House!) -- but best of all, she's going to be a great advocate for the value of early childhood education, and family education.

Here's my letter of recommendation:

To the Minnesota Teacher of the Year selection committee:

My first child entered the world after forty-seven grueling hours of drug-free labor that ended in my wife undergoing a Cesarean section—this despite our detailed birth plan. Besides being disappointed in the outcome, my wife and I had felt very alone during that long labor.

In order to avoid a repeat of that experience with our second child, we hired a doula: someone to offer advice, information, support and encouragement during that long labor. What a difference she made! We jokingly inquired about her availability to help us through the next twenty years of child rearing. Not surprisingly, our original doula graciously declined our invitation. But as we’ve raised four children over the past nine years or so, we have indeed found that kind of doula in Katy Smith.

In the seven years that I have been attending Katy Smith’s parent education classes (my wife attended for two years before me), I have seen her help hundreds of parents to “birth” their children into the wider world—or at least into the world of preschool, kindergarten, and elementary school.

How does she do that? Like a good doula, she knows how to make moms (and dads!) comfortable. Every parent and child who walks through her classroom door is welcomed with warmth and enthusiasm. “It’s great to see you!” she says, as if you have just made her day complete. Stressed-out, sleep-deprived parents are welcomed into the parent education room with a pot of hot coffee and a humorous comment or two. In most of her classes, there is quite a bit of laughter. But the way she uses humor in the classroom is skillful, not gratuitous or showy; she uses it to put new members of the class at ease, to talk about a difficult subject, to lift the spirits of an especially discouraged parent.

Katy provides expert instruction and guidance; this is a woman who is a veteran of many “births.” Sometimes she brings in newspaper clippings about current parenting issues (“DVD players with your grocery carts, anyone?”), and she always has a good lesson plan. But what truly marks her as a master educator is how little time she actually spends speaking during class. More frequently, she lets parents take the lead. Katy starts off class by asking a few simple questions, including “How was your week?” and “Did anyone come to class needing time?” (class time to discuss a particular challenge).

Some educators would feel insecure giving so much real estate over to the class: Who knows where the discussion might go? What if there’s not enough time for the lesson plan? But a good doula, although she may have a plan of her own, knows how to follow the parents’ lead. Katy seems be quite comfortable being an expert guide. “All right,” she’ll say after a mom has poured her heart out about some parenting dilemma. “What do people know about this? Let’s brainstorm!” And then the magic starts, as moms and dads start sharing their own wisdom, and building on one another’s insights. At the end of twenty minutes, the previously distressed parent has a wide array of strategies to try out, and the rest of the parents may have learned a thing or two along the way—perhaps even realizing their own competence as parents. To the parents, Katy may seem “invisible” during such a discussion—but watch carefully, and you’ll notice her expert guidance: a question here, a comment there, arched eyebrows or a little joke. And if necessary, she’s also capable of jumping in with her own wisdom and advice. Even when that advice is difficult to hear, she always manages to deliver it with humor and encouragement.

Visit Katy’s classroom, and you’ll consistently see parents leave with more confidence, more hope, and more energy than when they walked in the door. It’s a visible phenomenon: heads are held higher, voices are stronger and more optimistic. Parents leave with a demeanor that says, “Bring it on! I can handle it!”

A good doula is there when you need her. Similarly, Katy doesn’t confine her work to her classroom. She frequently extends the invitation to call her at home—“We’ll get a cup of coffee or walk around the lake!” It’s an offer that many parents have taken her up on. Sometimes, you don’t need to call; she just shows up. A year ago, my sister was in a coma after a heart attack, and my family took in her newborn baby—even though we had our own newborn. Katy came over to watch them so I could take a shower. How great is that? This kind of behind-the-scenes, hands-on involvement is not uncommon for Katy.

A good doula is also a good advocate for parents. Katy is that, too, as I believe the rest of her portfolio will indicate. But she does more than passionately advocate for parents, children, and education on her own; she also encourages parents to be advocates as well, in ways both large (contacting political leaders) and small (baking for your neighbors, offering an encouraging word to a beleaguered parent in the store).

I could say so much more, but in the interest of time, let me just close by making a case for why Katy Smith would be a good Teacher of the Year. I don’t need to recite all of the research pointing to the importance of early childhood education, or parental involvement in the education process. We all know that the sort of work Katy is doing pays off for years and years: engaged, skilled parents are a gift to their children—and to their children’s teachers. More importantly, it seems as though that insight has finally caught the imagination of our political leaders in Minnesota.

Strike while the iron is hot, I say; and I know of no better voice for early childhood education than Katy Smith. She is a passionate, folksy, funny public speaker, much in demand locally and around the state. She is politically savvy, and knows how to take a stand and push for it. But you won’t find her wagging her finger in the faces of our governor and legislative leaders. Instead, she will shake their hands, introduce herself politely, and get them laughing about something in under five minutes. In another twenty, she’ll have charmed their socks off. And then she’ll move in for the kill (metaphorically speaking, of course): “Speaking of the fishing opener, Governor, have you ever heard a little song called ‘Slippery Fish’? It’s a real favorite in early childhood classrooms . . . I could sing it for you! Or we could just talk about early childhood funding for the upcoming biennium. . . .”

Katy Smith has helped thousands of parents in the Winona area to find confidence, hope, and joy within the long, difficult labor of parenting. I would be delighted to see what she might help bring to birth in our state as Teacher of the Year.

What we have been doing

2011-04-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Since learning to walk, Mudpuppy has enjoyed looking out the windows,
especially upstairs, where he gets quite a view of the busy streets near our
house.

We haven't been too diligent about updating this blog recently because we've been even busier than usual. Besides the girls' birthdays and preparations for Easter, we have been extra busy preparing for Starling to travel to Rome. (She was invited by the Vatican's Pontifical Council for Social Communication to attend a meeting of Catholic bloggers -- you can get the full story at her blog.) She left this morning, and should be arriving around 8 am Rome time -- 3 am our time!

Also, I've been more busy than usual preparing for the garden season, because I am moving all of the beds to the (sunnier) center of the yard, into a configuration that will make watering and caretaking easier. But that means moving all our raised beds, building three more, and creating new trellises. Plus I am making a canopy for the sandbox, now that Mudpuppy is using it.

Plus, I have been in talks with several companies about buying our websites, so that we can move ahead with our adoption plans? I'm talking with the president and marketing director of one company next week; it sounds like they plan to make an offer.

I've also been working on a new writing project for work. And volunteering at the Winona Catholic Worker, where I have been helping to update the WCW website, shepherd six potential new live-in volunteers through the process of discerning whether to join the community, and prepare for the possibility of re-opening the house for families. I also appear to be one of the last people standing on our lifelong faith formation committee at church (even our pastor is leaving!); it feels like I'm trying to hold our faith formation program together with baling wire and string as it slowly falls to pieces. (I'm not the only one working on this, but planning sessions and preparing for next year has been a major commitment.)

Did I mention that we're planning a garage sale for next week? It's part of our efforts to clean out our overflowing house and raise money for the adoption.

And that is why I have been too busy to update Gracewatch lately! Sad faces all around.

Yes, I know I am too busy. It seems to come with this season of life. And now...I hear a child crying from a bad dream. More later...as soon as I get a spare moment!

Triduum and Easter

2011-04-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

Triduum really marks a high point of the year for us -- even with four kids in tow. This year seemed especially good; there is a lot going on in our lives, spiritually as well as practically, and the whole liturgy seemed particularly meaningful. Holy Thursday was especially moving for me. I had been whistling the Tantum Ergo around the house (a little too jauntily, Starling kept saying) for several days. During the period of adoration after the service, I felt God's presence very powerfully, which is especially amazing considering I had a toddler in a sling and two impatient young ones at my side.

For as much as they disliked "too much church," the kids did really well at all the services, even the Easter Vigil, which went until 10:30. I like the Easter Vigil because it's so Catholic -- that is, so "smells and bells." God chose to reveal himself in the flesh, so it seems only natural that that revelation would continue in a physical, tangible way. I like how the church is dark and silent at the beginning of the service, just like a closed tomb. But then, there is a great light at the door -- the bonfire, representing the light of the risen Christ. The light enters the church in the form of the Paschal candle, and then spreads from person to person, until it lights the entire church. Each of us becomes a bearer of the light of Christ; all of us, together, become the Resurrected Body of Christ. And then the chanting of the Exultet --

Rejoice, heavenly powers! Sing, choirs of angels!
Exult, all creation around God's throne!
Jesus Christ, our King, is risen!
Sound the trumpet of salvation!
Rejoice, O earth, in shining splendor,
radiant in the brightness of your King!
Christ has conquered! Glory fills you!
Darkness vanishes for ever!
Rejoice, O Mother Church! Exult in glory!
The risen Savior shines upon you!
Let this place resound with joy,
echoing the mighty song of all God's people!

. . .

Of this night scripture says:
"The night will be as clear as day:
it will become my light, my joy."
The power of this holy night dispels all evil,
washes guilt away, restores lost innocence,
brings mourners joy;
it casts out hatred, brings us peace,
and humbles earthly pride.
Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth
and man is reconciled with God! . . .

Hearing the words of the Exultet makes the hair on the back of my neck prickle -- because, notice, the words are spoken in the present tense. Just as we are truly participate in Christ's offering of himself during the celebration of the Eucharist, so we are also truly present at the tomb on the night of Christ's resurrection. It is all one moment.

And then the seven Scripture readings, tracing the unfolding of God's plan of salvation, interspersed with more joyful song.

And then we have the blessing of the baptismal font, and as we sing the litany of saints -- that beautiful invocation of our wider community, those holy women and men who have gone before us -- we all come forward to bless ourselves with holy water, a reminder of our own baptism.

Usually, we also have several candidates to be received into the Church. That any adult would want to enter the Church at a time when it is so widely and passionately scorned and ridiculed, and at a time when too many of our leaders lack courage and compassion, and sometimes are actually a source of pain (I'm thinking of certain dioceses suing sex abuse victims, for instance) -- that is a miracle in itself. And it is a reminder that although the Church is full of sinners ("I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners"), Jesus is still present in the midst of them -- just as he so often was when he walked the earth ("They asked, 'Why does he eat with sinners?'"). The Church remains the place where we find God made flesh.

On this particular night, we not only had half a dozen adult candidates, but also two children -- I'd guess their age at somewhere between seven and eleven -- who were baptized. Everyone holds their breath as the older child, the girl, is baptized; then her mother is gently stroking her face, and gently drying her hair with a towel, and another sort of water begins to flow (sounds of people sniffing back tears all over the church!).

The kids held up well through all of this; Mudpuppy slept upright in the sling next to me the entire time, and Jaybird attempted to sleep on the pew. And when it was all over, we celebrated with cake and punch -- and I do mean celebrated. Everyone is so happy! Admittedly, the youngest children (and there are quite a few of them) are happiest about cake and punch at 10:40 p.m.! Bear did lean over to me at one point to say, "Now this is my favorite kind of Mass!"

Here we are, with our friend Laurie, after the vigil service.

Here are the kids on Easter morning. Notice Mudpuppy
peering over the table -- no candy for him! The kids also
each received a CD of good religious music.

Later in the day, we visited the Trempealeau Wildlife Refuge,
where we saw many birds, including two wild turkeys.

And the best part is that we get to continue celebrating Easter for fifty days -- ten days longer than Lent, a point of sarisfaction for those of us who don't do well at fasting. :)

Happy Easter, everyone!

Happy birthday, girls!

2011-04-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

The girls turned six and nine this past week. Their birthdays are so close together that inevitably we just celebrate them at the same time, which means the same cake -- which explains the "69." No, no one is turning 69, although maybe they can dig out this photo when they do!

And here is a picture of Mouse doing the Bluffview birthday ritual of carrying the earth around the sun for every year of her life; after every year, the birthday kid gets to answer a question from the teacher. This is probably the last time we'll participate in this ritual, since Bluffview is (thankfully) phasing it out.

Mouse's math

2011-04-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

All year long, Mouse has been working on finishing her math "rocket" -- basically a long series of timed tests she took, trying to build up her math skills. As an added incentive to aid her concentration and diligence, we offered that she could choose a restaurant to visit for dinner if she completed the entire rocket, which she did. She chose the Ground Round. Hence the smile!

Think spring!

2011-04-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

When the sprinkler and the sandbox and the kite are being put to good use, it must be spring!

Mind you, these pictures were taken ten days before our recent two-day blizzard. At least it's never boring around here! Fortunately, in this particular spot we only got about an inch of very wet accumulating snow; a few miles west (up over the ridge), they got five inches. Yesterday I stepped outside in the middle of the afternoon and it sounded like a rainstorm, there was so much snow melting off the trees and roofs.

Things Mudpuppy can do, ambulatory edition

2011-04-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

1. This past week, Mudpuppy took his first crack at drinking from a cup. We haven't given him a cup in the past, because of the potential for lots of spills. But this kid just flatly refuses to use a sippy cup on his own -- he is insistent that someone else hold it for him. If you ignore him, he just gets increasingly frustrated and ends up throwing it. So I decided that, whatever the mess, he was going to learn to drink from a cup. Kids his age did it all the time back before sippy cups. And yes, I have been cleaning up lots of spills, as he really enjoys seeing what will happen when he tips it upside down. Hopefully he will get tired of that soon enough.

2. In keeping with a long-standing Windley-Daoust tradition, he also finds great joy in removing dirt from our garden beds. Who knew this would be enough to entertain someone for a half hour???

3. Walking! We've posted about his walking abilities before, but in the past few days, he seems to really have blossomed in this area. Whereas in the past he could take a few steps if forced, now he is getting up on his own and striking out. He seems to have finally mastered it. He definitely enjoys trying it out, and looks around at our faces for confirmation of his accomplishment. I've been swining him up in the air when he completes one of his forays successfully. Here is an extended video:

The Iron Chef and the Iron Violin

2011-04-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Last week, Starling entered in an "Iron Chef" competition at her school, part of a fundraiser to raise money for the students at sister school Bethlehem University. The secret ingredient was pistachios, and she made Chicken Columbo. She didn't win, but we bought tickets that allowed us to sample all the entries and, wow, were they good!

Later in the week, Bear took part in his school's annual orchestra concert. Considering this is essentially a middle school performance, it was extremely impressive. We will upload a video if we have time.

Mass moments

2011-04-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

Jaybird and Jackrabbit were both sick today (that's child #3 and Dad), so we did one of our split-shift Sundays.

Starling reports a couple cute moments from Mass. First, when our pastor lifted the cup at the consecration, Mudpuppy pointed and started making the sign for "drink."

Also, Bear got quoted in the homily. During confession yesterday, Father had asked him what he thought it would be like if he could see God the way the blind man in today's Gospel reading suddenly saw Jesus. "Well," he said, "it would be like this room was black and white in comparison." Father quoted this as part of his excellent homily, saying it came from one of our very own children.